Join Me for Reduce the Mental Load
with Tami Hackbarth, Certified Fair Play Facilitator
Reclaim your time & energy
Your partner is one of the good ones, but you donât want to write them a list about what needs to be done because they should see it and do it.
You canât just ignore the dirty dishes, the unwashed baseball uniforms, the unsigned progress report or the cat barf behind the couch. When you wake up in the middle of the night you remember that your kids need a packed lunch without plastic or glass for their field trip. While youâre awake you also remember you need to find a therapist for your struggling kiddo and, letâs be honest, one for yourself too.
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Why doesnât your partner notice these things that literally keep you up an night? Why does everyone comment about what a great parent they are when they show up to baseball practice when you are the one who signed the kiddo up, bought and washed the uniform and made sure to have dinner in the crockpot before you left for work?
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You love your partner. Heâs better than some of the other dudes that you know. But seriously, why does he expect you to make him a to do list and then remind him what is on it? Why canât he figure out school lunches or kid laundry or bedtime routines? You did.
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I created the Reduce the Mental Load workshop series to help overwhelmed partners start to see how life could feel less overwhelming.
Hi, I am Tami and I have been in your shoes.
Back when we had a toddler in 2012, I was the primary parent, and I took on a vast majority of household duties. I am not sure how it happened; one minute, we were both working and splitting household work, and the next, I was in charge of almost everything at home. I didnât see it coming, but once I did, I was pissed. I hadnât signed up for this.
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Looking back now, I realize we had no idea how much busier our lives would be with kids or how much moms end up being the default parent. I did a personal research project to figure out if I was alone in my simmering rage toward my partner. Boy, I learned I wasnât.
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Terms like invisible labor, metal load, and second shift, and eventually books like How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, taught me that I wasnât alone. My husband listened and tried to do more. We had so many conversations about who was doing what, and it felt better.
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In 2019, Fair Play was published, and I devoured it immediately. By using the Fair Play Method, my husband and I are on the same team, conquering the household and parenting duties together. With clear communication and ownership over tasks, I got my mental bandwidth back. Last summer, my husband singlehandedly arranged an entire summer of child care and camps for our daughter. I didnât lift a finger.
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I am passionate about helping families rebalance the workload at home and in raising kids because when we do, families thrive. Since becoming a certified Fair Play Facilitator, I have helped reduce the mental load and invisible work while helping couples become a team. I recreated the Reduce the Mental Load workshop series to introduce you to the Fair Play Method, Unicorn Space, and 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care.
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Together, weâre going to take back our time and energy and learn the ways our families could thrive.
Results from happy clients!
This could be you.
"Chores arenât a struggle.
I donât feel like I am asking for âhelpâ as if itâs all mine, I donât have to track a bunch of chores and he didn't feel like he was being put upon or that it was being sprung on him." - Alexis M
When you join Reduce the Mental Load you get:
Reduce the Mental Load: 3 live one hour workshops, workbooks and replays.
Workbooks
Replays
Common questions about Reduce the Mental Load
What if my spouse isnât interested?
What can really change in 3 hours?
My husband is a good guy who works hard. Shouldnât I be able to do everything else?
Join Me for Reduce the Mental Load
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