If I were in charge of how the world operates, I would definitely sleep as little as possible, stay horizontal in my soft pants, drink caffeine in the AM, and booze it up at night while eating BBQ potato chips and candy corn and feel FANTASTIC!

But alas, I am not in charge.

Instead we have to subscribe to human biology 101 or feel like a bucket of hot garbage or rusty buckets of bones. Or Boooooth. 😭

I regret to inform you no matter what is happening in the world, we have a lot of control over how we feel inside our bodies and in our lives in this utterly bonkers world.

What we do every day makes a difference in the moment and the long term.

Sleep the hours required? Calmer
Move your body regularly? Calmer
Meditate regularly? Calmer
Eat regularly? Calmer

It sucks that it works.

And there is no getting around it.

This is what we practice in the CARE Club.

{Enroll today with code 2025EARLY to save $600. Payment plans are available.}

Please listen to the show and let me know what you think. You can find all the episodes and show notes at www.tamihackbarth.com/podcast.

As always, if you like this show please share with a friend and/or leave a rating and review.

I would love to hear from you, hit reply and tell me your thoughts.

I appreciate you!✨

XO,
Tami

 Transcript:

[00:00:00] Welcome back. We are still in February and we are still calming the chaos of the world in the only way that we can, and that is by calming ourselves the fuck down. In the first episode of this series, we talked about our media diet, the books that we could read in order to learn what kind of actions we could take.

[00:00:25] Last week's episode, we talked about the power of community, and I have to say. I'm hearing from a lot of people that they are getting together with friends in person on the phone and really finding that connection. And it is making everyone feel better. Not only are people connecting with the people that they already knew in their lives, but so many people are getting together across the country with groups like Indivisible and Red, White, and Blue and [00:01:00] making a difference by showing up.

[00:01:04] In person to learn what sort of actions that they can take and then going to their representatives offices and doing protests outside the Capitol. I mean, nothing cures the terror of being alone than being in the company of like minded people. Today, we're going to be talking about the thing that no one wants to talk about.

[00:01:34] And that is The stuff we have to do for our own body in order to have the energy to show up the way that we want to. If you're new here, my name is Tammy and I am your burnout bestie. I gave myself this title because I'm a hard worker, and my go to mode when things are hard is to work harder, [00:02:00] and I have learned over and over and over and over and over again that hard work only gets you so far, and then you burn out, and then you are of no use to anyone.

[00:02:14] This is our hero's journey, and I'm here to help you become less of a burnout person. So that you can have the energy and time to create the life that you want in the world that you want. So, if you want to learn some more tips, Go get yourself into that Survive 2025 free workshop, good stuff, but also Thrive 2025.

[00:02:43] Seriously, good stuff. Okay, so today I would just like to talk to you a little bit about the basics of what I'm doing every day that I have been neglecting on and off for [00:03:00] months that I've recommitted to. And the reason I'm sharing this with you is. So, A, my whole business is around helping people take care of themselves and rebalancing domestic labor and like basically kicking ass in life.

[00:03:18] I do that and I have taken on the identity, like this is my jam and yet I was still kind of phoning in some things over the last couple months and I have been feeling anxious and ungrounded and internally freaking out and reading too much. I know it sounds weird, but when you don't drink and you don't do drugs and you don't really watch TV, you got to fill your time where you're panicking with something.

[00:03:44] So it's kind of numbing out with reading. It was a whole thing. So I want to share with you something that's super tangible that I made, and I want to share a mindset that really helped [00:04:00] me double down, triple down, really recommit to making sure I'm putting my care first. Listen to last week's episode if you are somebody who struggles with guilt or shame or tells yourself this story that your needs should come last because you're a mom or you're partner and you are either too busy or you don't prioritize yourself because there's no time left after you've taken care of everyone else.

[00:04:28] I went, I went in a little hard prepare your heart because it is a little bit of a big sister kick in the ass, but I think it's a worthy listen. Okay, so it's the beginning of the year and I've been, as most people are, or excuse me, a lot of people are very refocused on being productive and crushing goals.

[00:04:54] And all that jazz. And plus, that's part of my business. I work with people on that. So you know, I do a lot of reading and I do a lot of [00:05:00] experimenting and trying to gather best practices. But what I have, what has, what has happened is I have fallen prey, just like most of us, to this idea that I have to produce a certain amount of visible, tangible outcomes in order to feel settled and peaceful inside my body.

[00:05:25] I'm giving you a pause there because that might also be you. So again, doing an experiment because I, I don't want to wake up feeling anxious about all the things I either have done, haven't done, want to do. So what I did was I was like, well, what do you do when you're freaking out? And my answer is go back to basics.

[00:05:47] And the basics for me are how do I calm the inside of me So that I can show up more calmly for the outside world, because I need my internal [00:06:00] experience to be as peaceful as I look on the outside. And if you're not there yet, I hear you, but I'd love for you to play with this idea because having your inner life feel as good as your outer life looks or quite frankly sometimes feel better than your outside looks is a gift.

[00:06:26] So I recommitted to, I have a whole podcast episode, I think it's episode 22 called Non Negotiable Mourning Self Care and It's been my, this has been my go to routine for years. The reason it's a go to routine is because for me is that it works. It touches so many parts of me that makes me feel grounded.

[00:06:54] It makes me feel calm. It makes me feel [00:07:00] satisfied and satiated so that I'm like, okay, all right, I can show up for the rest of the world because I, I've got my internal taken care of. Calming the chaos, we can only control. So much of what happens outside, right? Like if I can control the outside of myself, just letting you know, the world would be a much calmer, fair, equitable, ethical, well run place, but I only control so much, just like you.

[00:07:35] So focusing on what we actually can control will help us feel better when things that are not in our control. are not in our control. So things that we can control, we can control how our bodies feel by joyfully, gently, [00:08:00] lovingly moving them. I feel like I go in and out of being consistent with exercise so often that most people I think would define that as being inconsistent.

[00:08:13] Sure. I'll just say that I am somebody who definitely struggles with the, that makes me feel better. Therefore, I don't need it anymore syndrome and then I remember, Oh, the reason why you were feeling better is because you were doing that thing. So if you're not yet taking a morning walk or an afternoon stroll or an after dinner walk, I invite you to do that just 15 minutes and then keep track of, am I calmer when I get back than when I started?

[00:08:43] If you're like me, you're going to. Most likely think, wow, all that in just 15 minutes. Why am I not doing this more often? Taking your medication regularly, no matter what it is, for whatever purpose you're taking medication, [00:09:00] being regular with it will help it work more effectively. I'm just going to leave that there.

[00:09:06] No matter what you're taking, when you're taking it regularly, it works better. Eating breakfast, somehow nourishing yourself at the beginning of the day sets the tone for the day of perhaps having regular meals. And when you have regular meals, you feel more steady because your body is just, it's just fueled.

[00:09:33] It's not, you know, your gas tank going from full to empty to full to empty to full to empty. Am I a nutritionist or a doctor or a dietician? No! However, however all of those people also recommend Eating on a regular basis and not like stuff that you happen upon, but things that you plan. I don't know.

[00:09:56] It's a good thing. Meditation. [00:10:00] I'm sorry to report deeply, deeply sorry to report that just in a few minutes a day of sitting quietly without your phone in your face or anyone doing anything for anyone else not clearing your mind, just sitting and saying, wow, I'm just sitting here. Ooh, I'm just noticing my feet and my shoes.

[00:10:21] Whew. I'm just noticing that, wow, my brain is going a million miles an hour. Just noticing I'm breathing just a few minutes a day. Turn it all around. And it's funny because again, I go in and out of being somebody who's really regular with meditation. I get so used to the benefits of it, just like with exercise, I get used to the benefits of it.

[00:10:45] And in my mind, I'm like, Oh, I don't have to do this anymore. Just like with my, take my medication regularly. Oh, I'm feeling the benefits of it. Something in my brain clicks off like, Oh, you don't need this, ma'am. It's working because you're being consistent. [00:11:00] You're just showing up regularly. You're just doing a little bit of effort every single day.

[00:11:05] A little bit of effort every day. Way more impactful than a lot of effort. Not very often. Practicing gratitude. Again, I want it not to be true. I want these simple things not to have such a big impact, but they do. I'm sorry to deliver the fact that when you take two minutes and write down three to five things that are good in your life, and that you are thankful for them, that you're noticing them, more good things will come into your consciousness and be like changing the narrative that literally everything sucks.

[00:11:52] Also, I just want to caution. We can know things intellectually. We know exercise [00:12:00] is helpful. We know that meditation is helpful. We know that gratitude is helpful. The difference between knowing something and actually Doing something is vast. Also, I apologize for that. I would change that. I wish that I could just read about meditation, or think about meditation, or have several meditation apps on my phone, have a favorite teacher.

[00:12:27] I wish all of those things would give me the benefit of actually sitting in my chair for five to fifteen minutes a day. But it doesn't. Much like I wish wearing cute exercise clothes, signing up for classes, I don't know, looking at aspirational and inspirational other people who are working out, I wish that gave me the benefits.

[00:12:52] It doesn't. The only way we benefit, the only way that we get the calm is from actually [00:13:00] practicing these things. Every day I ask myself, what are three things? That you did well the day before. Why? Because my brain is a fucking liar that is like, you didn't do anything. You got nothing done. That's because we're always looking.

[00:13:17] Our brain is like, look at all the things that are still undone. Yeah, we all have a to do list 75 miles long, and guess what, when you cross stuff off, you're going to add five more things. But it doesn't take away from the fact that you did actually cross some things off. And even if they were, quote, just showering, by the way, that counts.

[00:13:38] Or just taking a walk, by the way, that counts. By the way, my therapist recently told me, I would like you to count all of the things that you do for yourself, just, I want you to weigh them as equal or more to the things that you do for work or for other people. And I thought, wow, [00:14:00] if I added these things into my quote to do list and weighted them the same way, I would feel like I got a lot more done.

[00:14:09] Really had to ponder that. Right? So, my invitation to you is to stop thinking, I don't have time. Take five minutes here, five minutes there, and do some science, science backed research. exercises that will help you complete the stress cycle. We have so many stressful, out of our control things happening in the world all the time.

[00:14:41] But boy, it surely feels like it's ramped up a lot more recently because it has, we need to control what we can control. And one of the things that we can control at least a little bit is creating a sense of calm inside our own bodies. [00:15:00] If you're a parent, do these things with your kids. Teach your children these skills.

[00:15:08] Teach them movement for mental health sake. Teach them gratitude for brain training. That's what we call it at my house. We call it brain training because Our brains are designed to hold on to the bad stuff and let go of the good stuff. While very effective for keeping us alive, not very effective for keeping us happy.

[00:15:34] Okay? Success and happiness comes after we take care of the bad stuff. The basics inside our own body, when we calm the chaos inside, we calm some of the chaos on the outside, we can show up the way that we want to, because we are well resourced, and we can [00:16:00] regulate our nervous system by taking small action.

[00:16:06] Daily. Again, if you're new to this, take one thing and try it for a week. I would start with moving your body. Wake up a few minutes earlier, go on a tiny walk, 10 or 15 minutes, come back, write how you feel when you left, when you came back, when you left, when you came back. Do that for seven days. And see how you feel.

[00:16:32] The next week, keep walking, but then add one more thing. Maybe you add two minutes of gratitude. Okay? If you are somebody that's like, Okay, I really do need help with all of these things. Like, this all sounds great. And intellectually, I know this. But I'm having a really hard time putting it into practice.

[00:16:56] Guess what? Not only do I have Survive [00:17:00] 2025 free workshop for you, we're also, right now, enrollment for Care Club is open. You may be asking, what the hell is Care Club? Let me tell you. Care Club is my year long group coaching program. Where a group of like minded women get together and we work through all the obstacles that get in the way of us tending to ourselves, our homes, our relationships, our goals.

[00:17:27] We figure out how to change our lives inside of our homes, at work, and in the world, and we do it together. The community is absolutely remarkable. You're invited. If you're curious, come on over Tammy hackbarth. com slash care dash club. Registration is open until the end of the month, and I can't wait to see you both in survive 2025.

[00:17:56] in care club, go take a walk. [00:18:00] You can find me over on Instagram or blue sky at Tammy Hackbarth. You can always send me a message, Tammy Hackbarth, Tammy at Tammy hackbarth. com. And until next week, let's calm the chaos and remember that you matter too.