Cops and vampires have permission to enter. Crazy too.

Someone recently said that since the plan is to overwhelm and exhaust us into giving up, we need to look at our own behavior in order to survive this administration.

The goal is to watch the rollercoaster without getting on the rollercoaster.

Watching a rollercoaster feels way different than riding a rollercoaster, doesn’t it? This metaphor helps to capture the concept of equanimity really clearly.

Being calm during a crisis is what we practice in the CARE Club.

{Enroll today with code 2025EARLY to save $600. Payment plans are available.}

My February Week One Glimmers

(tiny micro moments of joy)

🪩 Sending out pitches to speak to Employee Resource Groups and connecting with people who are helping others at work. (If you have an ERG or know someone who does, please introduce us. I tailor all my talks to the needs of the client).

🪩 My Senators grilling the unqualified cabinet nominees and that delights me to no end. It might not stop them getting those positions, but publicly calling out their utter incompetence feels good and helps diminish their perceived strength.

🪩 One way to bring down authoritarian regimes is through publicly mocking them by using ridicule, sarcasm, and teasing to poke holes in their perceived strength or vulnerabilities. Remember what happened when Gov Walz called them WEIRD?

🪩 Gov Walz’s trolling is next level. I would sign up for a class with Coach Walz.🤣

🪩Improv here I come! Stepping out of my comfort zone, stretching myself in new ways and spending time with people in person learning something that may very well prove to be helpful in the future. Episode 127 guest, Betsaida LeBron is teaching the class and I am super excited to learn from her.

🪩 The first of my TEN Pacific Ocean mini retreats is tomorrow! I will be breathing ocean air, hugging redwood trees and practicing equanimity at least one Friday a month in 2025.

This week on the podcast I am doing a deep dive into Calming the Chaos: Part 1.

Transcript

Tami 257

[00:00:00] Welcome to February everyone. I'm so happy to be here with you. Some themes that have come up recently have been, oh my god, I'm freaking out. What is even happening? What can I even do? I'm so overwhelmed. I'm freaking out over here. All with a subtext of how are you so home pals if we haven't met yet.

[00:00:24] Hi. I'm Tammy Hackbarth. Like I said in the ad for Survive 2025, I'm a life and work coach. I specialize in 100 percent guilt free self care because we have all been fed the lie that self care Is optional. It is frivolous. It is a waste of time and you're a bad person. If you have human needs to that, I say, Bullshit.

[00:00:53] You are a human being with basic human needs and those needs need to be tended to so [00:01:00] that you have the time, the energy, the bandwidth, the ability to string together a coherent thought so that you can fight back about systems of injustice. One of the tools that people in power use is to create chaos, perhaps you've noticed that in the news recently, so that you don't know where to look.

[00:01:22] You don't know what to do. You don't know what fire to respond to. So in the month of February here, 2025, we're going to be doing a little series I like to call combing the chaos. And today I'm going to give you a couple of recommendations. The first of which is if you are somebody who has found yourself in the last, say six weeks, freaking the fuck out about what is happening, running around like a chicken with your head cut off.

[00:01:53] I don't know what to do. I'm so freaked out. I don't know what to do. I'm so freaked out. And you're asking [00:02:00] people, I don't know what to do. I'm so freaked out. I want you to stop what you are doing. All of it. Just take a pause. And when somebody who has Experience. That's right. Somebody who has experience in calming the nervous system, in being an effective advocate for change, gives you a literal roadmap for what you should be doing.

[00:02:31] Stop yourself before you argue about, yeah, but I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. Y'all, that is called being an ask hole. That's right. You ask. You get an answer. And then you argue with the person that has expertise in the area that you want a different answer. Don't be an ask hole. [00:03:00] So, now that we got rid of the people who are ask holes, If you're interested in calming the chaos in your life and being somewhat effective and grounded, welcome!

[00:03:15] Happy to have you here. Now, just a little bit more on my background, I am in fact a coach, also a restorative yoga teacher, which means I specialize in calming people the fuck down internally. I also am an elementary school teacher so I can get kids to do shit They don't want to do and did for a decade and their parents are always Impressed and surprised and I also used to be a lobbyist and I have a degree in political science It's my long way of saying I may know What the fuck I am talking about because I have been working on Issues important to me [00:04:00] aka women's rights since the 80s The eighties, 40 years.

[00:04:06] Now you might not know about it because we either just met or you met me in a different capacity. But in my spare time, I'm writing letters. I'm contacting members of Congress. I am not arguing with people about stupid shit in the comments on any platform. I'm actually going to the people who could potentially make change.

[00:04:32] And those people are the people that we elected. To do just that. Okay, so one of the things I want to talk about in this episode of calming the chaos is you need to turn off the fire hose of bullshit coming at you. There is a [00:05:00] very different feeling that comes with being informed without having 10 fire hoses of literal shit pointed at your face 24 hours a day.

[00:05:12] You don't need to be the first person to know the horror that is happening in the news cycle. You don't have to know. And I'm going to tell you a couple reasons why. Number one, you can. will not be a first responder to any of the horror. So you could hear about it a day or two, or maybe even three days later and still be informed.

[00:05:47] So if you are somebody who is doom scrolling at 2am, knock it off. What could you do instead? You could turn on your meditation app. You could turn on an audio book. [00:06:00] You could turn on a soundscape. You could turn on a meditation. You could turn on your favorite sitcom or comfort show. You need to limit what you are taking in because your nervous system is being flooded right now.

[00:06:20] And it's being flooded on purpose. You have control over how much you consume. And don't get it twisted that I am somehow telling you by limiting your immediate media diet that I am telling you not to be informed. I couldn't be further from the truth. What I'm telling you is, after a certain point of saturation, you're going to be paralyzed and completely useless to being helpful in your ability to change anything.

[00:06:58] So number one [00:07:00] thing to do in calming the chaos is decide how many minutes of bad news you Your nervous system can handle in a day. I recommend 30 to 60 minutes. Choose a news source. That all about clickbait and headlines and meant to scare the shit out of you. Perhaps you could go with someone like Heather Cox Richardson.

[00:07:31] You not only get what's happening in the news, you get historical con context. You could check out Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin. You not only get. All the hits and by hits, I mean all the shits, but you also get action items. You could just check out Jessica Craven. She also is somebody that's monitoring the news very, very closely and giving action items.[00:08:00]

[00:08:00] I really like following Emily and your phone. She. is amazing. She used to work for Chuck Schumer. She's a lawyer. She knows what the fuck she's talking about. He gives some context. She gives some action items. And here's the thing, pals. Beyond that, you don't need to guzzle down every single nonsensical thing that the dummy who's not quite in charge says.

[00:08:34] Because here's the thing, most of what they're flooding the zone with, meaning your brain, is unconstitutional. And it's being dealt with by the lawyers. Which, I don't know if you know this, I'm not one of those. I don't pretend to be one of those. I am so thankful for lawyers and living through a time where there are exceedingly [00:09:00] strong lawyers and people who advocate for the rest of us, who know the legalities of how to stop this.

[00:09:09] I believe it's called being a check and a balance. I am so unbelievably thankful for them that I'm going to not show up in their comment section, all freaked out, like, Oh my God, what should I do? What should I do? What should I? What you're going to do is you're going to calmly read what they say, and then you're going to take action.

[00:09:36] It's pretty easy. Imperative that we don't wear ourselves out Before we can actually take action the way I'm seeing people run around both in real life and on the internet these days is much akin to Like a shadow boxer or and if you don't know what that is, that is like literally your Hunching at [00:10:00] nothing, wearing yourself out, before your opponent even gets in the ring.

[00:10:04] Or, I don't know about you, but I did have older brothers, and one of their fair, their most favorite things doing when I was a kid was holding my forehead, taunting me, and me swinging around trying to hit them, and their arm was so long, I never touched their body. That is what we're doing when we are consuming bullshit 24 hours a day, and wringing our hands about, oh my god, what could I be doing?

[00:10:30] Limit your media diet. That's what we're going to do. That we're going to calm the chaos by limiting how much we're taking in. And number two, if you're going to take in any bad news, any bullshittery, you need to then take a step towards action because we're going to complete the stress cycle. The stressor, is the news.

[00:10:58] The antidote to the [00:11:00] stress of the news is calling your senator, calling your congressperson, calling your state reps, calling people who have the power to make change. Yeah, but they're mega great. Call them anyway. Why? You're a constituent. They're not going to listen to me. So what? Keep calling. Be a pest.

[00:11:26] I know at some point you used to call people and hang up on them just to annoy them in the 80s, 90s, before we had caller ID. Do that. Be a pain in their ass. Because why? You're taking up staff time. You're reminding them that people are watching. Do you know what makes bad policy go away, transparency.

[00:11:56] If they know that you are [00:12:00] watching them, you're going to have that tiny little tickle in their belly like, Oh shit, people are watching. What can I, and they're thinking, what can I do to make them go away? Don't fall prey to that bullshit. Take in a little bit of news and then take some fucking action.

[00:12:19] When people who know what the fuck they're talking about, tell you, Hey. This is what you should do. This is what they're doing right now. Shut up and listen. Otherwise you're going to be known as an asshole and no one wants to be an asshole. So today I also want to share with you ways that I have been foaming my chaos in my brain.

[00:12:44] Yes. I very much limit my media diet to 30 to 60 minutes a day. Why? Cause I'm a delicate goddamn flower. That's why. Do I then call my [00:13:00] senators every day? Yes. Do I get voicemail often? Yes. Are my senators blue? Yes. Are they out tearing it up? Yes. Do I call them and thank them also? Yes. Why? Because I, it's easier for me to do something every day than to do it every once in a while.

[00:13:17] Just make it part of your. routine. It takes like five minutes. Also, if you're not sure what to say, all you have to say is, Hi, I'm a constituent. Give them your name, give them your address, including your zip code, share your email and your phone number. Say, I am so pleased that my Senator Dew is doing X, or I am opposed to what my Senator is doing.

[00:13:44] All they're going to do is put you on a little piece of paper. With the tally mark. You don't have to have a PhD to make a difference. You have to have a phone and a mouth. So do that. It'll make you feel better. I promise. The other thing is what am I doing with the other, [00:14:00] I don't know, 23 hours of my day?

[00:14:03] I'm reading a lot. Why? Because it's calming. It makes you smarter. It makes you more empathetic. Here's some things that may soothe your mind to read. during hard times. I read 22 books in January. I was going to say it's a humble brag. It's not humble. I was like, some people disassociate doing other things.

[00:14:27] I like to read and learn some things that were very, very helpful during this time. It's funny. I'm looking at my story graph. If you haven't yet joined StoryGraph, you should because it's amazing. They have great graphics and great ways to keep your reading just well cataloged. Also it is a black female owned company.

[00:14:50] Hello, black female owned company versus a billionaire who's kissing the ass of our fake Fascist dictator. Seems like the [00:15:00] choice is easy. Also if you're noticing that the tone is different for me and the podcast right now, I am just, I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired because here's the thing, so many of us that were very excited during the election season are now like, have you never been in a fight before?

[00:15:23] That's I guess that's a real question. I feel like I have. I mean, again, see earlier comment about brothers, but I remember being called out on the playground and like people circling around and me standing up to a fucking bully. And do you know what happens when you stand up to a bully? Nine times out of 10, they shrink away, shrivel up and never make eye contact with you again.

[00:15:48] That's how you do this. The other thing that I've learned recently is that it, it doesn't take very many people to stand up to this quote strong man and that nothing takes down a strong man [00:16:00] faster than mocking the shit out of them. That's why when Tim Walz, by the way, love him, if you're not following Senator or excuse me, governor walls on the internet, on all the socials, you should, cause he's giving a masterclass in trolling.

[00:16:16] It works, because once you poke a hole in the facade of strength, it's like you reveal the weak, pathetic dudes that are behind all of this. Come on. I know your mocking game is strong, but something else you can do on social media. It's fun. If nothing else. Anyhow, get off Goodreads, write a story graph, start reading.

[00:16:47] If you're looking for things to read, here's a real good one. Mutual aid, building solidarity during this crisis by Dean speed. It is 152 [00:17:00] pages long and it will make you feel like, holy shit. I know what to do. I can help people directly. The people around me can know that they're safe with me and nothing makes a girl feel better than actually being able to be helpful during hard times.

[00:17:21] If you want to laugh your ass off, P. S. Totally recommend it because Did you know that there's two parts of the stress cycle? I bet you did, because I did a whole series about that a couple summers ago. But the first stress, first thing you do is you get rid of the stressor, turn the news off. The second thing you do is you have to process the stress in which you just created inside your own body.

[00:17:45] And one of the things you can do other than exercise, because nobody wants to hear that, Is you can do this thing called laugh so fucking hard that you cry. I recommend survival of the thickest by Michelle Boutteau. [00:18:00] And here's why you think that TV show on Netflix is funny, which by the way, if you haven't watched it, that shit is hella funny.

[00:18:06] The book is even funnier. Funnier. My teenager keeps yelling at me. What are you laughing at? Why are you doing that? I have tears rolling down my face. Get yourself a book that makes you laugh so hard you cry. If you'd like to learn some more about how to be joyful during this hard time, you could read Joy on Demand.

[00:18:28] It's by the dude who brought you joy and meditation to Google. I hate to tell you but during these times we're going to have to do stuff. We don't want to do perhaps it's exercise Meditate get it together. We're not going to stand around and go. Oh my god What could we do? You could also check out a return to common sense How to fix America by Lee McGowan, otherwise known as I am politics girl.

[00:18:58] I'm just letting you know, [00:19:00] pals, when we're calming chaos, it doesn't mean keep doing the same shit we're doing. It also doesn't mean we're going to stand around and do nothing. It means we're going to get grounded. We're going to get focused. We're going to work as a team, kind of listen to the experts.

[00:19:23] We're going to take action. And when we do all of those things, we're going to be remarkably Homer than we were before we started. Cannot wait till next week. Going to bring you. how to calm the chaos more and more through the month. Don't forget to join the newsletter list so that you can come to my free class that I created just for you called Survive 2025 where we're going to learn five

[00:19:57] If you are somebody that's like, I also love to [00:20:00] thrive in 2025, guess what? Got a free class for that too. Get yourself on the newsletter list and that will come directly to your email. I cannot wait to talk to you about all things chaos calming this month. Know that I am going to be creating these with a sense of, I love you.

[00:20:24] And y'all, now is not the time for hand wringing and arguing about, Oh, but I don't want that answer. Okay. Guess what? Sometimes you have to be quiet and take direction. And now's one of those times. Let's make it happen. Go calm your nervous system. Go laugh, go cry. Go on a goddamn run, but also call your senators.

[00:20:57] Until next week, remember, [00:21:00] you matter too.