Happy Quitter’s Day! Do you celebrate? 😜

If you haven’t heard of Quitter’s Day, it is the second Friday of January and it marks when most folks have already given up on their New Year’s resolutions.

Yep, not even two weeks into the new year, people are giving up, throwing in the towel and deciding they don’t have what it takes to change their lives.

Honestly, until 2010 I didn’t even know I could change and I didn't figure out how to change until 2014. I have spent the last decade teaching others how to change their lives.

Turns out people want to THRIVE and not just survive. Most of us know deep down we haven’t been put on the planet to just get by. And yet a lot of times we find ourselves saying “after this next week things will slow down and then I can make time for self-care, time for friends and time for fun”.

Have you caught yourself saying that too?

I would love to have you join my upcoming free class THRIVE in ‘25. It’s the perfect time of the year to get focused on what matters most to you. Let's lay down a foundation to thrive.

Please invite your friends who want to do more than just survive in 2025.

In this week’s podcast episode I am sharing my interview with Tiffany Yu.

Tiffany Yu is the CEO & Founder of Diversability, a 3x TEDx speaker, and the author of The Anti-Ableist Manifesto: Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability-Inclusive World.

Tiffany started her career at Goldman Sachs before becoming a speaker and writer on disability.

At the age of 9, Tiffany became disabled as a result of a car accident that also took the life of her father.

Inspired by the viral The Anti-Ableism Series on TikTok, The Anti-Ableist Manifesto is Diversability founder Tiffany Yu’s revelatory examination of disability for any ally to go beyond mere awareness to be an active anti-ableist and help form a more equitable society for all.

Not going to lie, I devoured this book! After spending countless hours advocating for my daughter over the years, especially in the education system, this was a perfect guidebook to helping non disabled people advocate for inclusion, access and belonging for all students.

If you know someone who has had to advocate for themselves or a family member in the health, education or employment systems, definitely share this book. If you’d like to learn how to be an ally to the disabled community, definitely read this book.

Transcript:

tyu

[00:00:00] I am so excited. Y'all, you know how, when you are in the internet and then the internet serves you up some exactly right for what you need content, well, that happened to me on threads when I was in the midst of a lot of school advocacy for my kid. And I use that opportunity to. find the author of this brand new book that is blowing my mind that I think everyone should read.

[00:00:35] Tiffany, will you please tell us who you are and what you do in the world? Sure. Hi everyone. My name is Tiffany Yu. I'm the author of the new book that has recently come out called the Anti Ableist Manifesto, Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability Inclusive World. And before that I am a disability advocate and my entry into this space [00:01:00] is based on my own personal lived experience of acquiring a disability at the age of nine in a car accident.

[00:01:07] And so, at least for me, it's important for me to share that because I am coming into this conversation as someone who acquired my disability, not someone who was born with it, so the stories I share and the experiences I've had may be a little bit different from someone else. And we say this all throughout the book, that the disability community is not a monolith.

[00:01:27] And now I've written a book saying exactly the same thing. Right. And part of the reason why I needed this book is I have non apparent disabilities. I have complex PTSD from my childhood. I have recently diagnosed ADHD. I'm raising a daughter that has non apparent disabilities. And. , when people can't see disabilities, they think they don't exist.

[00:01:59] When [00:02:00] people look at you as a young, beautiful Asian woman, they are probably thinking the things they have preconceived ideas about who you are and how you move through the world based on their own ideas. Because I think a lot of people don't necessarily see things that change their worldview.

[00:02:18] I have loved reading the book because I'm learning a lot about my own ableism, if you can believe it. I went to school the first year I was in kindergarten. The first year I was in a kindergarten. I was only in kindergarten once. But I, the IDEA, the whole system, the law that. Established special education was signed into law one year before I started kindergarten.

[00:02:45] Mm. I was 20 years old before the a DAI was in high school when they created the 5 0 4. So I'm looking at all of this, and so at the end of each [00:03:00] chapter, I love the reflection questions because you're asking like, what is your experience with this? And I was thinking, I was like, I grew up in the midst of this and I'm, and I used to be a teacher, so it's like I, I have, I have so many ways that I'm looking at how.

[00:03:17] None of this is an individual problem. It's an accessibility problem from a systemic way. I'm a fair play facilitator. I'm a life coach. I'm a speaker. I do all this stuff because I want to change the world. For the people who live in it, so in addition to being an author, can you tell us about your other work? And I've seen your TED talks. Give people a little bit more of a flavor of who you are and how you work in the world.

[00:03:52] Because I'm finding your other work. Absolutely fascinating as well. Yeah, and, you know, so much to unpack there of what you [00:04:00] discussed. The first was really around expanding what disability looks like, right? And so, what has been interesting for me is now when I talk about disability, I say, hey, this also includes mental health disabilities and chronic illnesses.

[00:04:15] And I think once we talk about that, And as we have started to include more language around, including those who live with mental health conditions, I also live with PTSD, and those who are chronically ill, we realize that more of us are disabled than we think. So that was, that was kind of the Okay, but even unpacking the word disabled, like I, do you know, Polly?

[00:04:39] I can't Kelly. She wrote a book about Kelly Coleman, Kelly Coleman. I interviewed her for the podcast too until I talked to Kelly. Like I grew up in the era. We didn't say disabled, right? So some people right now, their armpits are sweaty. Like I'm going to ignore it because I don't even know what words to [00:05:00] use.

[00:05:00] Hmm. Why disabled? Can you talk just a little bit about that? Because I think that will help people be able to hear better when their armpits aren't so sweaty. Even about I don't know how to access something that I don't even know how to address. Yeah so there's a reason why chapter one is disability is not a bad word.

[00:05:19] I think that is a lot of people's entrance into this space and also where they decide to opt out. They decide to opt out because they don't know what language to use. So I do agree with you that Probably sometime in the early nineties, other euphemisms of the word disability became more popular, like special needs or different abilities or unique abilities.

[00:05:43] But essentially what all of that does is it kind of diminishes the experiences that those of us who do have disabilities the experiences that we do have. And essentially, our rights are enshrined. under this label of disability. It's called the Americans with [00:06:00] Disabilities Act for a reason. And You know, I will say on my own learning journey, becoming disabled at nine, I don't think that's the word I used to label myself until after I had turned 21.

[00:06:12] And one of the things I realized is I will meet people who, in your words, their armpits are sweaty or they feel really uncomfortable with the word disability, and part of that is because our society has imposed a lot of negative bias on this word. Even if you go to the dictionary definition, In the definition of the word disability, it uses the word impair, which there may be people in the disability community who feel like that word impair disempowers them.

[00:06:41] I mean, you may also meet disabled people who feel like the word disability disempowers them. But I think for me, the more that I've used the word, and this is a, Something that I realized as I was doing research for the book. We have a piece of swag at our organization, Diversability, which I do acknowledge is, is [00:07:00] a euphemism, but please only use Diversability when referring to our organization.

[00:07:03] And then I'll talk about all the disability advocacy that Tiffany's doing. But we ended up printing a piece of merch that says disability seven times in very large block letters is not a bad word. And it's a play on that shopping bag when you take when you go to a restaurant, you get takeout and it says, thank you a bunch of times.

[00:07:21] Have a nice day. So part of why we did that is Essentially, it's like a banner out there saying hey there are a billion of us who live with something that would be labeled as a disability. A billion! That's a lot of people who, if we continue to think that disability is a bad thing or it's broken or it needs to be fixed, that's a lot of people.

[00:07:46] I have a hard time believing that one in six or one in seven of us in the entire world are living with something bad. To me it's just part of the human experience. So I know that was a very long winded way of [00:08:00] explaining why disability isn't a bad word to me. But I also encourage people who are listening to this To just say the word disability a lot of times because, backed by science, this is actually called semantic satiation.

[00:08:13] The more that you say a word, it actually loses whatever original weight you had put on it. So if you think disability was this bad thing, the more that you actually say it loses, it loses that meaning over time so that you can reattribute different meaning to it. I love it. I don't know if you like.

[00:08:32] Tiffany , when you drew the connection, The the rights are in the disabilities rights act, I was like, Oh, we need to connect these two for people because. If we talk in euphemisms around policy makers, they won't know what the heck we're talking about. If we do that with with lay people, people who are not in government or aren't policy driven,

[00:08:57] I want, I, I'm spending my [00:09:00] working on to create better balance at home

[00:09:02] to create social safety nets for people quickly address disability and connect it to the policy

[00:09:08] that are have already been enacted in our government. It helps everyone see the protection. Is that are already there and how we need to potentially expand them it I think it made it like it was like a lightning bolt of yes, it makes a difference how you talk about this so when I go to school and advocate for my kid because my kid is having some sensory issues around shoes

[00:09:36] these days and people are like white that's like asking her to light her legs on fire for 15 minutes. We wouldn't ask her to do that. Lay off her shoes. And it's In the a DA that she can wear the damn shoes. It's a disability. It's not an inconvenience for people. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. And so Right. Connecting those [00:10:00] dots for people because they don't see it necessarily.

[00:10:03] Yeah. What do you feel like was the turning point for you? Advocating for my daughter

[00:10:07] because , I am a very Gen X person and Gen X people were no one's parents were advocating for them. I don't think. And like I said, like laws and stuff to protect people and to provide access literally were not invented yet. You know, it was actually before. The teacher was advocating for students and I was learning both from the special education side, but just like seeing how students show up differently in your classroom.

[00:10:39] I made accommodations for everyone because my thought was like, how can you be successful so we can all have a good work day. And perhaps it was selfish of me that I was like, Hey, if I have to do something different for you, you and you so that everybody in this room, including you can get along and [00:11:00] learn, I'm going to do it because I want us all to have a good day.

[00:11:05] It was selfish and I also wanted to have a good day, but right? It's like we're all here together. How can we make this work? But then when I had to be on the other side of the proverbial table and go into a place where you're putting together a legal document for your child, I was like, okay, well, now it looks like I have to be an expert on education policy and special education policy.

[00:11:30] Then I thought this. is absolute madness. Between me and my husband, we have 36 years of classroom teaching experience. We have advanced degrees. I used to be a lobbyist for Christ's sake. Why is this so freaking hard? And I actually love school. She's a great student. All of these things. And it's still hard.

[00:11:58] And I'm like, [00:12:00] this is absolute madness. Because it should not be this hard when there is established law. The words established law, as I speak them out again, I'm like, I should not have to introduce anyone to the ADA, not people that work in public education, not anyone that works in government, not anyone that has a business, because everyone who is in those categories is responsible for putting those laws and those accommodations in place.

[00:12:38] It's exhausting to have to advocate for every damn thing in the world.

[00:12:43] So yeah, I think it was when I became a teacher, but boy has it been lit on fire since I became a parent. Recently I asked someone, what did you do? Cause there's a culture of going to science education camp where it's a multi day, [00:13:00] overnight thing. camp situation. And I went to the teachers and I was like, hey you know that 504 we have?

[00:13:05] They're like, yeah. I'm like, those needs don't go away when we leave the classroom. P. S. If I showed you the home 504, otherwise known as like parenting a disabled kid we have different needs at home. So how can, like, how can we put all these pieces together? And the teacher it's oh my God, this is, This has never come up to which I said, that's so weird because our school is over 100 years old.

[00:13:33] There's a long tradition of this camp. Are you telling me that you've never had a kid with a 504 and IEP before? And she's no, I've had plenty. I was did they go on the trip? And she had that moment of, oh my God, they all opted out. And I was like, do you see how we're not going to exclude kids from these programs?

[00:13:53] Yeah and I think a lot of that highlights. It is 2022.

[00:13:55] Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of that highlights, in some ways, I [00:14:00] feel like there is a cultural shift around disability. It's why this book came out, Kelly's book came out. I have a lot of disabled friends who have books coming out in the next year, which I am so excited about. And at the same time, you get a glimpse as a parent of the ways and how exhausting it is that we have to fight for and advocate for our access on a daily basis, on a moment to moment basis, you know, I go around and I wear my splint and the number of people who asked me what happened.

[00:14:31] And I, I. Have, have to determine whether in that moment I want to choose to engage or not, which I also know will dictate how they decide they want to engage with other disabled people going forward. So, so yeah, it's a lot and I, I remind myself that In a lot of ways, the ADA isn't that old, the IDEA Act isn't that old you are sharing experiences where you [00:15:00] have seen some of these landmark pieces of legislation passed in your lifetime, right?

[00:15:06] There's a reason, at least for me, so I'm part of what's called the ADA generation, meaning that for as long as I've been disabled, I've had this ADA, this law, this Americans with Disabilities Act, they're to protect my rights. Did we know it was available to us? Would I have been eligible for an IEP? Yes.

[00:15:26] But we didn't know, right? And here I am, taking tests, now writing with my non dominant hand. And, and, in some ways, this is why I'm so grateful to have built and continue to be part of the disability community. Because we're sharing resources with each other. We're learning about what's out there. You have access to things like Kelly's book now, and the different communities that, She's a part of and parents are coming together through Facebook groups, which wasn't around when I was a kid, , so we're, we're finding different ways to connect with each [00:16:00] other and not have to feel so alone in this consistent state of exhaustion and feeling disempowered.

[00:16:11] Absolutely. And the other thing, I mean, I just keep repeating the words. It shouldn't have to be this hard. It's established law and my tolerance. I'm going to be honest. My tolerance for, well, I didn't know has gone way down because I'm like, well, it's funny that you don't know. However, however, when I educate you about when these things came into play 1974.

[00:16:37] Yeah, that was yeah. 53 years ago. So guess what, everyone? And wasn't there an update? I mean, it's established law. The long story short, friends, is I'll be sharing Tiffany's book with everyone I come in contact [00:17:00] with because there's so much personal work that needs to be done so that we can show up to change laws.

[00:17:10] And change,

[00:17:11] what is the term of it's like you change laws, but then you also have to change cultural attitudes. And laws almost always come first. In case anyone's wondering, laws come first, and then attitude comes after. But adherence to the law sometimes comes even after that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You guys. Come on now.

[00:17:31] Okay. So tell us about your community. Yes. Yes. Let me tell you about Tiffany, the disability advocate. So there are, there are, I guess, four categories of how I would describe my advocacy. The first is what I call community and social health. That was actually my entrance into this space about 15 years ago through a club that I started called Diversability.

[00:17:54] It was Georgetown's first ever disability student club. Which [00:18:00] then now has grown out of Georgetown become incorporated. And we kind of call ourselves to at least people who work at larger companies. We're kind of like a disability employee resource group that exists outside of a company. But if you don't know what that means, that's okay.

[00:18:15] We're just a very large community. So we have managed to grow our community to about 80, 000 across our digital ecosystem, which is great. Thanks TikTok and the rise of social media. And at the same time, I think part of why I started Diversability was it made me realize how keeping disabled people in isolation is how, how the people in power remain in power.

[00:18:42] Kind of what you said about your kid wanting to go to camp, we don't show up there. And so people don't think that we want to be there, because yes, we have the 504 in place, but we're nervous about our access needs being met in that new environment, so we don't show up. [00:19:00] And when we don't show up, then people just assume that we're not there.

[00:19:03] And so it continues on until 2022 when you enter this space and you want your kid to participate. And so things like that. And I also want to hold the door open for the people, the other people. And I was, I just wanted to make a point to the teachers like, Hey, we are not the only family that is having problems accessing this.

[00:19:25] Let's from the beginning of the year, let's figure out, Oh, I have these kids on my caseload for special education. What accommodations will they need? How can I talk to their parents that they're welcome? How do I talk about how we can meet their needs while they're there? Because it's such an important thing.

[00:19:43] And it's it's also maddening to think because I think sometimes when People are advocating for themselves or their family. That people are like, you just want special treatment. It's no, I actually want every kid to have access to this. I mean, [00:20:00] I'm the one that's pointing it out. Yeah. I mean, you end up paving the way.

[00:20:04] I think about the fact that this book is out in the world and all of the disabled author authors who paved the way for me, and even in my early career experiences, you know, being one of only maybe being the only person who had an apparent disability in the spaces that I was in, who then over time started to introduce more, more into those workspaces.

[00:20:27] The second category is what I would call education, that's probably some of the TED Talks that you've seen, I would include the book in this I have a social media series called the Anti Ableism Series, that would all be included under education. And then and then two other categories, the third is what I call economic empowerment, it's really thinking about how can we help, how can we help disabled people survive in capitalism?

[00:20:53] And that's, that's kind of a more abrupt way to say it, or a more confronting way, but [00:21:00] essentially for, since 2017, we've been awarding 1, 000 monthly microgrants to disability projects globally and that's, that's been almost 100 projects, but I also launched an endowment fund. So my background is actually in finance.

[00:21:16] So kind of just thinking through the privilege that I had been afforded to have different work experiences like that and how can I reinvest it back, back into my community. And then the final category is what I would call like civic engagement. It's, you know, and I only touched very briefly on the laws and, and that timeline in the book.

[00:21:36] I guess that's why the chapter is called A Brief History. And, and then I refer to another book that I think is called Disability History in the United States. It's by Kim Nielsen that goes much, much more into a deep dive, right? And so it's, it's like, how can I provide you the baseline that highlights that?

[00:21:55] I don't know. The first time the word ableism was used was [00:22:00] 1981. Depending on who you are, that's. Not that long ago, at least from my perspective, I'm an 80s baby, you know, I'm like, in my decade, we only, we understood that this was happening. We didn't have the language to explain what it was. So, so I have a little, I have a little, I can, I can feel your, your exhaustion and your desire to make things better.

[00:22:24] And in some ways, part of why I wrote this book was I wanted it to light a fire in people like you. And at the same time, I think I'm understanding that part of my own sustainability is having grace and compassion, that if the disabled kids hadn't been showing up at the camp, they, they would have assumed that we hadn't existed.

[00:22:47] And they wouldn't have thought about how to make things more accessible for your kid and future kids. But but yeah, in the civic engagement my current, my current area of focus is on LA28, which [00:23:00] is coming to Los Angeles in four years. But previously I had served on the San Francisco Mayor's Disability Council.

[00:23:07] And part of why I bring that up is I think that so many of us are focused on presidential elections every four years and what's going on on a federal level. But there are things happening. Mike a micro locally as well. And I encourage people and I include this in the book to Where if you don't, if you don't know if you have a stance on the ADA or learning about all the different titles, just start by doing an online search for the disability commission in your hometown.

[00:23:39] And if they don't have one, maybe look up a senate, a state senate committee. And so I remind people that, if you feel like who is, you know, Running for president doesn't entirely represent everything you care about. You can still vote up and down the ballot. And one micro win that I shared in the book [00:24:00] was a mayoral proclamation of July as Disability Pride Month in San Francisco.

[00:24:05] And it kind of reminds me of what you were saying earlier about the people patting themselves on the back when things are going well. I do want to make space for wins, it's okay to. But I remember telling a friend, I was like, oh it isn't that big of a deal. And my friend, Called me in and said, Hey, you know, maybe someone will see all the work that you put into this, and they'll be inspired and empowered to take on the cause that they really care about.

[00:24:29] Maybe they care about affordable and accessible housing. There's a lot going on in San Francisco right now around that. And this year, Governor Newsom, who's the governor of, of California, proclaimed the entire state of California as Disability Pride Month July as Disability Pride Month. And so, I look back at that 2020 moment, and maybe it planted a seed that eventually made its way to the governor's office.

[00:24:55] office in 2024. So, you, you never know. And, and even for you, you know, [00:25:00] advocating for your own kid and the camp, like it can even start there. It doesn't need to be showing up at city hall. It's again, looking at the different spaces that you are occupying, that you care about, that you want to make more accessible for the people you care about.

[00:25:16] Yeah. And I will say I'm actually in Sacramento. So I'm about a mile from the Capitol. Question. You said LA 28, as in when the Olympics come to Los Angeles in 2028? Yes. And making what are you making the venues more accessible? Tell us a little bit about that because I was like, Oh, I'm very curious.

[00:25:36] Yeah. So, I think what piqued my interest, in 2018, I ended up going to a friend's wedding, and I was there single with my and then someone in the wedding party was also single, so we ended up rooming together, and I told her about some of the work I was doing in the disability space, and she was actually working at LA28, and she said, you know, Tiffany, [00:26:00] I don't know, she's I don't know if you've thought about, you know, How much visibility this global sporting event gets, and each Olympic and Paralympic games leave something behind called a legacy.

[00:26:12] So in 2012, London Olympic and Paralympics, their legacy was that they, I believe they streamed the same number of hours As the Olympics and the Paralympics on channel four, which is their equivalent of NBC. And then in 2016 Rio, the Summer Olympics and Paralympics, what they did was they filled all the stance pretty much all the Paralympic games were sold out.

[00:26:37] Because I had heard from my Paralympic athlete friends that the two weeks later, by the time the Paralympics come around, everyone's kind of forgotten. And as an elite athlete, it doesn't, sometimes you get your energy from the crowd. And, and so, and so it got me thinking about Paralympics are returning back to [00:27:00] the U.

[00:27:00] S., What legacy are we going to leave behind on the visibility and the level of respect that disabled people receive? So, could it be around the accessibility of the venues? Maybe. Something that LA28 had proposed. And I will also highlight I'm only in a volunteer advisory group, so I'm not speaking on behalf, but one of the things that I understand LA 28 was proposing was no new permanent structures.

[00:27:28] So I know that sometimes when the Olympics and the Paralympics come, it creates a lot of a lot of friction in terms of the existing community that's there and, and everyone coming in and then all these new structures that are there. So we have UCLA, USC, we have a lot of sports arenas that. That are actually recently built, but not for LA28, are housing other sporting events.

[00:27:50] But, yeah, and I think this is where we see disability kind of intersect every single part of a large event, right? Because it's not just the athletes, [00:28:00] it's the people attending. One piece of feedback I heard, so Paralympics, was that The Paralympians who were there, I think, felt very seen thanks to social media, and the International Paralympic Committee did this amazing partnership with YouTube to make some of the games more accessible to people who couldn't find them on their local stations.

[00:28:22] But for some of my friends who were wheelchair users, And, and had other disabilities, they had a really rough time navigating the city. So, so yeah, but, but I think you will come to learn and, and I think you find this in the book too. I want to approach this work with a level of gentleness so that you do want to engage.

[00:28:42] And, you know, in some ways I think about not only the fact that there are a billion of us, but I think about the ways that so many people enjoy elevators. And luggage with wheels, and electric [00:29:00] toothbrushes, and audiobooks, and these are all things that were designed, maybe app so, luggage on wheels came after airports became wheelchair accessible, but these are all things that were became these inventions that we all enjoy because they benefited disabled people in one way or another.

[00:29:19] And so sometimes I will joke and say, if you are enjoying your electric toothbrush or your audio book I hope that that will encourage you to want to show up for us because then we can design even more things that you can benefit from as well. And, and, you know, you talk, we, we've been talking a little bit about maybe we come into this work a little bit selfishly.

[00:29:40] Both you and I have. Very intimate connections with a disability based on our own lived experience or the people that we love. And, you know, I will say it's, I, I don't, I don't know and I'm still trying to figure out how to get people outside of these circles [00:30:00] to care about us in the same way. And part of why I'm grateful, I can, and, and it's name dropping or maybe a little humble bragging, but My Georgetown friend, who I hadn't seen in 15 years, came to my Philadelphia book launch event and had listened to my audiobook and was telling me about all of the things he learned and how he also uses Otter.

[00:30:19] ai, which is this amazing speech to text software that I use. And. He got that book because he cares about me, because we went to school together for four years. We actually worked together in the tech center, so I'll say hi to Andrew. But, but I, I think about all these different networks, and before I started Diversability, I wonder if some, in some ways I was kind of strategically thinking, and unintentionally thinking let me see how many different networks I can be a part of, so that when the time comes that, I'm doing this work for the disability community.

[00:30:53] I can turn to you, my Taiwanese friends, and my Georgetown friends, and my finance friends, and my San Francisco friends. I can [00:31:00] turn to all of these different networks I'm in to help mobilize. And because they care about me, which was maybe a selfish thing for them, they start to become more aware of the language or the things they can advocate for as well.

[00:31:14] Here, here, here, here. And this book, by me presenting it to people who I care about in the school system. It's, if they take it in, it will be like, wow, these are, it's, it's that idea of because when you, when you find yourself. Advocating for somebody that you love. You're not an expert, like you have to learn these things on top of, you know, be making food for people who are going to be like, dinner sucks.

[00:31:42] I don't like it. Or giving you a bad attitude in the car while you're in school. There's all these things you're doing all that stuff but you're then you're also like, I'd figure out how to learn how to be an advocate. I don't know what those letters in that. Law means, I don't know how all this works.

[00:31:58] So you, that, [00:32:00] your book is a gift to the people who love the people. And it, it's like, whew. When we have a common language, it's so much easier to make progress for all of us. The other thing I just want to touch on. So, like I said, when I, I was a teacher. I kind of treated like all of my students as if they had IEPs.

[00:32:21] I had 20 kids in my class and I was just like, okay, what do you need? But I mean, some people came with the paperwork to tell me what they needed and other kids, I was like, I need to figure out what makes you tick so that the collective of all of us can make it happen. I actually had a recent thought as I've been, you know, talking ad nauseum about the book.

[00:32:41] It's become my, it's become my whole personality. When I talk about this I talk about this idea in the book called inclusive design, which the definition of inclusive design is when we embrace multiple design variations so long as we achieve the desired outcome. That sounds like the same thing as [00:33:00] accommodations, multiple design variations, or even this I, the IEP, I didn't even know what an IEP was until 2022, when I went to a camp for people with my injury, and they were saying, Hey, your IEP from when you were in school carries over into your work, into work professional environments as well.

[00:33:22] And I said, Darn, I could have been, I could have been eligible for this thing, we just didn't know because, again, you know, and you can have whatever opinions you have about Facebook groups, but I really believe that the ability to mobilize now is making, is creating power and influence for us, that makes it so that, you know, you can show up and say, hey, you know, this law has been around for 50 years you know, have you had students who had an IEP before?

[00:33:54] And it's not just something that gets brushed off right now. We're showing up in power and numbers. [00:34:00] Yeah. And it's interesting because I always say the 504 is a roadmap for success. And if you are teaching, say, if you're in that role, if you are teaching and your classroom and your space is accessible for your highest needs student to be successful, everyone in the room benefits.

[00:34:26] Everyone in the everyone in the room benefits when we help. Everyone. We're better together. I know it sounds crazy, but we're better together. Yes. But, but, I guess bringing it back, I think one thing I do appreciate, getting, getting to talk to people like you, and I actually just posted about this on threads today, is people I don't even know picking up this book, and not only you sharing how it's impacted you, and you have access to spaces and communities that I don't have access to that you will then carry on this [00:35:00] gift, But I remember getting a note over the weekend from someone who said all throughout the time they were reading the book, they were firing off emails to this team and that team, and at the end of the email they said, Hey, I want you to know how much of an impact this book is having on transforming, you know, this very large company that this person was at.

[00:35:20] And they were like, your work is really transformative. And I was like, You know, not everyone is going to resonate with this book, that, that is just the nature of the beast. But to be able to meet people like you, Tammy, and the notes that I'm getting, and the feedback we've gotten so far, makes me know that, you know, we're on this journey of finding who that target reader is, who is looking for something approachable, digestible, relatable, that is going to help them show up for us.

[00:35:51] Yeah, I mean, I am collecting titles of books that I'm passing out to parents that I'm meeting in the special education space [00:36:00] teachers, because here's the thing, teacher preparation programs have, I had literally one class on special education, and the professor said, there's this law, it's IEDA, you're going to learn that involves IEPs and 504s,

[00:36:18] and your role as a teacher is to follow it. And I was like, that's great. Whole time we were in his class just repeated that message and I was like, that's terrific. What?

[00:36:26] What a common, what are a commons? What, how can I, students? Anyway, this is going to help expand everyone's education so that we can be, so we can move beyond just definitions. Okay? So you have your community, you have your education piece, you have your civic engagement, which is crazy because I have an entire monthly membership called Civics and Self-Care because I want people to be engaged.

[00:36:51] Am I back? You're moving. Yes, I can hear you. So you were saying you have this monthly membership called civics. Oh, [00:37:00] civics and self care and it's all about Well, being engaged in their communities and, you know, doing activism work

[00:37:08] without burning out because we need people to be able to show up fully resourced so that they can affect change so that they can help change the world so it's better for all of us. So how does self care affect your work? Ooh, that's such a good question. Self care. I touched on it very briefly earlier.

[00:37:31] Self care. In order for this work to be sustainable, we have to take care of ourselves. I think one thing I had to learn was that journaling is not my self care, right? We turn to all of these things, there's self care as an industry where it's become so commoditized, and then there are the things you do that you refuel, and that is not an industry.

[00:37:55] And I think it's important to name that difference between the two things. So I [00:38:00] will say in full transparency, I'm in the middle of I don't know if I would call it a book tour, but traveling around to different places to talk about books, it doesn't feel like a tour because it's, it's been very DIY.

[00:38:13] So I'm a little bit tired, but something that I really have appreciated, it's just sleeping in my own bed. And yes, and so I've actually been, last Friday I was in Baltimore, Monday I was in Philadelphia. Now, as we're recording this, I'm back in L. A., getting ready to go back to D. C. next week. And people look at that schedule and they say, Oh, that doesn't make any sense because you should just stay on the East Coast to avoid all the travel.

[00:38:42] But for me, There's just something to be said about being in your own home. Even, even though I know it's another five, it's another 10 hours of traveling back and forth. So that has been something that is important to me. And I've also learned, and there's a Ted talk about this, [00:39:00] about the seven types of rest.

[00:39:02] So rest is not just about sleeping. It is about. Getting, I don't know, creative rest, and social rest I don't know, I even will add an 8th category called Netflix rest. I don't know, so, right? It's it's the chill and you got your brain rest, but then there's also the turn it all off. Close your eyes, but don't go to sleep.

[00:39:25] Rest. Yes. Yes. Right. It's like sometimes, sometimes it's sensory deprivation. Rest. Yes. And, and I will also share, you know, and I don't know if this will be a hot take or controversial, but one of the things I had to learn I know I named these four different categories of my advocacy, but before I was, I was dipping my toe in all of it.

[00:39:49] And I think. I felt like I was the only person who was doing anything, you know, I think, and I can sense part of that from you, you [00:40:00] know, that frustration of having to keep showing up, and I had to believe, and there's this image of and I don't actually know where I first saw this, but it's like you have a jar, and you fill the jar with rocks, so maybe the rocks are my advocacy.

[00:40:16] And then you can still put in sand to fill in other spaces. Maybe that's the community showing up. But then even after you've packed it with sand and rocks, you can still put water in. And I share that imagery. I don't know if it actually entirely makes sense here. But to me, it just reminded me that there's still space.

[00:40:35] Well, first of all, I guess shine theory, there's still space for everyone and everyone's voices and matter everyone's voices and advocacy and stories matter in the space, and there's enough. There's enough. There's enough oppression to go around, unfortunately. And so, so yeah, I, I, I think I got to a point where.

[00:40:58] I'm not the type of person [00:41:00] where I'll see something online right away, and I wonder if this is an introvert, or if it's a trauma response, where it takes me some time to digest information. Sometimes it takes me the next day, and then I go back and I have a, a more refined response. But it makes me think about the attention economy, and how social media's kind of fueled on, Having an opinion right away on something or stitching something a literal hot take And and I mean, I don't I don't have hot takes I have like weeks later.

[00:41:36] I've thought about this takes because I can't respond in the moment Yeah. Right? It's no one's going to benefit from an unfiltered me. Yes. And, and part of my work too is, I do still want to maintain some, some connection to the civics. And so I, I remember I made a piece of content a couple weeks [00:42:00] ago about dialysis clinics and the monopolies there and but I wrote the script for it.

[00:42:06] Like months ago, and I had to like double check with the research team if it was all, and, and things in, in policy world, they're changing a lot too, but I'm like, you know what, I'm working at the pace that works for me, if things changed and it totally gets scrapped, okay, if it needs to get updated, at least I have the latest but, but the information will get out there, just maybe not, not at the pace that works for me.

[00:42:29] But yeah, but I had, I had to just understand and be grateful to be in this amazing community where all of us are fighting toward disability justice or disability inclusion. And I can't take them all on myself.

[00:42:44] It's funny I really had to chill on that when I was a teacher the first few years I was a teacher. I was teaching like I was the only teacher my class was ever going to have. Girl, if you think about it, that's not even ha it's they're gonna move on without you and they're gonna do [00:43:00] It, it, it felt so And at the same time, it's so important.

[00:43:04] Yeah, it's, it, and it's, and it's like, how can we, how can we exist in that where, yes, your thing is entirely your thing. Important to you. And I think this is, you know, diversability turned 15. This is turned 15 this year. And I've been going on, I've been, I've been saying some version of the same thing for 15 years.

[00:43:27] And part of it is. I know that I'm going to talk to people who may never care. I will share, this past weekend I went to this beautiful brunch in L. A. And I wanted to gift the host a copy of my book. And, and I appreciate the response in some ways, but I say, Hey thank you so much for hosting us, can I gift you, can I sign a copy of this for you?

[00:43:56] And he goes, Thanks. I really appreciate the gesture, but in full [00:44:00] transparency, I'm probably never going to read it. And that made me feel a certain way, but it also meant, and I think one thing I've appreciated is the people who are commuting over an hour to come into Denver so that they can get a signed book and tell me how much this work has meant to them.

[00:44:19] And my hope is that maybe for him, There will be some point in, again, in our beautiful, colorful lives where he is intimately touched by a disability experience that he may then want to pick up this book, but. But yeah, and I talk about the, I, there's a chapter that says why you should care about disability, and I include all these reasons, but again, Michelle Kim reminds me and reminds all of us that we can't, I wonder if part of the reason we're so exhausted is that we're spending disproportionate amount of energy trying to get people to care who will never care.

[00:44:57] And sometimes those are our [00:45:00] policy makers. Sometimes those are. You know, the people who have the ability to create the type of systemic change that we want. But again, I guess that's where I come back to the hyper local level where it's okay, I'm your constituent. And so, and I've been showing up to the meetings.

[00:45:16] And so now, you know, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. And and yeah, but I don't even remember what the question was. Yeah. I will just say I have a t shirt that says I am not for everyone, and it is a reminder both to myself I am not for everyone, and also, since I'm wearing it on my shirt, folks, I might not be for you.

[00:45:42] It's okay, and also, you don't have to tell me, because I will likely get my feelers hurt. However, it's, we're not there yet, but, and, and I agree I have a policy that I don't argue with people online. Just as a general rule, especially about politics, [00:46:00] because in my mind, I'm like, why am I going to be arguing with your Uncle Rob, who does not any power to change law?

[00:46:10] I will be spending my arguing time talking to people who have the power to make change. If you wanna argue with that guy, feel free. But it, I'm a, I'm the youngest child in my family, and so I spent a bunch of my childhood with somebody holding my forehead and me swinging at them and never connecting with their body.

[00:46:30] And that's what it feels like arguing with people online who have no power to change anything versus going directly to the person who. Their job is literally making laws. Yeah. I mean, I, I, one, I was going to say something I appreciate about online space. All roads point to community for me. Community is my sustainability.

[00:46:52] Community makes me not feel so alone in my advocacy when it, when it feels like I'm on another uphill battle. But [00:47:00] sometimes community steps in on some of those comments. And I think I've also had to learn that. There, there are gonna be people who don't know me who have opinions about who I am, and as someone who, who also lives with PTSD, I, I honestly think that's been a really hard part of this book being out.

[00:47:23] Nine year old Tiffany wanted to be friends. You all feel exposed? Yeah.

[00:47:28] Yeah. And and now now this piece of work is subjected to opinions on the internet of people I'll never meet, but that's the point right and and i and i think about, I think about why I wrote this book. I have a lot of different answers depending on who asks it to me, but I wrote it because. Yes, you can see a fleeting piece of social media content as you're scrolling, but this book will now go into spaces I may never go into.

[00:47:57] Like a Library of Congress, for instance. [00:48:00] Or even just a library in general is being checked out by people I may never meet. And And that feels, that feels like an extension of this work, where, again, I guess it comes back to the 100 percent guilt free self care, where I, both you and I, we're going out, we're advocating for the things we care about.

[00:48:25] Now you have access to this book, in some ways you are carrying on my torch, about the things you care about, right? And then as you gift this into other parts of the world, that gets trickled out too. So, I'm actually taking this past the getting people to care, you know, you'll give it to your loved ones and they'll give it to their loved ones, but they're gonna read it and hopefully react in the same way that they're so glad they read this book, and here are actionable things that they can do right away.

[00:48:53] Okay, so I know a bit of your story, and you don't have to go into your whole story if you don't [00:49:00] want to, because it's about growing up, and that is, as a child of an immigrant, immigrants, what did you learn about self care growing up? Ooh. You know, that was not, that was not a word that we used. So for, so for people who are new to my story, which is usually how I open, how I open most interviews as I mentioned, I became disabled in this car accident at the, at the age of nine.

[00:49:26] My dad was driving. He unfortunately passed away. I permanently paralyzed one of my arms, broke a couple bones in one of my legs, and, and much later was diagnosed with PTSD. And I share all of that Because trauma was not a word in my vocabulary. The first time I ever described what happened, that car accident, as trauma was 2016, which is 28 years after the accident.

[00:49:55] And as a result, it ties into what does self care look like [00:50:00] growing up. I don't think I think I was in a survival mode that I didn't know I was in, so I didn't know that I could rest. All seven types.

[00:50:17] And I guess in some ways because self care, when I came to understand what it was, was introduced to me through the commoditized form of it, made me believe that that was a luxury that I didn't have access to. And there's actually a quote that I came across during the pandemic. I don't know which of my TED talks you've seen.

[00:50:43] There are a couple of them, but this is a quote from someone named Francis Weller. And actually when I saw this quote, And keep in mind, I've been disabled for 27 years now. When I saw this quote, it must have been in 2020 or 2021, it really made [00:51:00] me, it really shifted something. So here's the quote. It says, The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them.

[00:51:11] How much sorrow can I hold? That's how much gratitude I can give. I share that quote because growing up, I really did believe that the only place I could be was in grief. Again, I didn't have language for what that was, but I was sad. I was, I felt like I was a shell of myself all throughout that time period.

[00:51:35] And It's been interesting, and I do share this in, in parts of the book, so, as the daughter of Asian immigrants, everything is viewed in the context of the household. Your successes are your household, are your family names, holding up your family names. Your failures bring shame to your family. And so the car accident, my dad passing away, and now the fact that I had an apparent disability [00:52:00] were all viewed as shameful things.

[00:52:02] And in some some more traditional thinking, it meant that somewhere in our ancestral lineage, there was some bad luck that is now carried forward into my, this, this disabled body. So as a result, we don't tell anyone about our bad luck for fear of thinking that our bad luck is going to rub off onto other people.

[00:52:23] This is also known as the moral model of disability, but, I didn't have language for that until, until I wrote this book, but what that meant growing up was I hid my arm, I did not get this IEP, I think about, I actually use that same phrase, it doesn't have to be so hard, I use that a lot, because, It doesn't, it didn't have to be so hard.

[00:52:46] The first time I learned about speech to text technology, I was 21 years old, starting my career on Wall Street, and an ergonomic specialist proactively asked if that was something I needed. And because it was something I had [00:53:00] never been introduced to, I was like, I don't even know what that is. And then I wrote the entire first draft of this book using speech to text.

[00:53:07] It's like my favorite thing. You draft, you write text messages to your friends. I wrote almost my entire book using speech to text. Yes! And, and actually, when I shared that on threads, and I don't know if that was your entryway into me and my work, people were like, oh, you know, I always loved writing, but in the past couple of years I've had Carpal Tunnel on both hands, but you've given me hope that I can now re explore my love of writing and put my written word out into the world, just now in my own way, right?

[00:53:36] Desired outcome, multiple ways of, multiple design variations. But all of that to say, I guess to come back to Tiffany growing up, I, I don't know what self care was. I felt like I, so yeah, wore long sleeves all the time, didn't know I had access to accommodations, didn't have an understanding or a connection to the disability [00:54:00] community, told everyone my dad was away on a trip.

[00:54:03] And so essentially, it was, All of these lies in the book, I call it collective gaslighting of, of everything that happened and not being able to acknowledge it that now I think, yeah, I'll just say, I will focus on the question that you asked, which is what did self care look like? And I'll pause there.

[00:54:25] So that's what self care looked like for me growing up. Right. And that reading that part. of the book. I felt so deeply for your mom because she didn't sign up for Ming to the United States by herself. She didn't, you know what I mean? It's like she had a partner and then she didn't and then she's okay, you know what?

[00:54:48] I'm doing the best I can. In a world, in a world that's really rough, and I've got these kids, and I'm trying to do the best, and I, ugh. It, it made me, it [00:55:00] made my heart hurt for your mom. Because also handling grief is, I, I'll just say that I have a giant bag of grief. I had to do a ten part series on grief on the podcast, because I was like, we collectively need to get better at grief.

[00:55:18] Because we Accidentally hurt hurting people all the time because we are like giant toddlers emotionally and we need to stop hurting each other. Let's get better at this. And one of the ways is we talk about like we talk about the people that we lost. And it's not weird to have continuing bonds with people because my mom was my mom for 45 years.

[00:55:44] That doesn't go away because she passed away. She's still my mom and I still am having a relationship with her. Yeah. I would say that sounds weird, but no, it isn't weird. I still have a relationship with my dad, you know, and would be so proud of us. [00:56:00] My mom would be so proud of us.

[00:56:01] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think about, I, I wonder if there will be a point. Where my mom will come on a podcast and, and talk about, I mean, and, and I have a lot of compassion because it wasn't just me in the car, one of my brothers and my sister were also in the car too. And that's three out of your four kids who have now been in this traumatic accident were ages 9 to 14 years old, still 100 percent entirely dependent on now one person.

[00:56:34] I do think about, and in a lot of ways. I don't want to be her. And, and I feel grateful that, I guess I wouldn't call it tough love. I've only seen my mom cry twice in my life. One was when she saw me at the hospital, and the other was at my dad's funeral. So both were around when I was nine years old.

[00:56:52] And, and I will say, and I don't know if this is robot heart Tiffany coming out, I feel grateful that she [00:57:00] didn't dump anything onto us. Even though I think we were all struggling in our own ways and independently, I didn't have to, and I'm someone who wears my heart on my sleeve and I think about, oh if I have kids, I'd be like crying all the time.

[00:57:16] And, and I look at my sister who now has two young kids and, and one of her kids, my niece had, had cancer and they were going through it and they, they showed up for their kids. How, how they need to, maybe, maybe a light switch or, I don't know, I'm not a parent so I can't, I can't relate but I can, I can, I can have compassion and a little bit of grace because there are also parts of me that I, Think about access to an IEP, getting more time on tests because I'm now writing with my non dominant hand.

[00:57:53] That now, at 30 something years old, I, I, you know, will advocate for myself on. You're like, well, that sure would have been [00:58:00] nice. That sure would have been nice. As somebody who was diagnosed with ADHD at 53, boy, it sure would have been nice to have this information. But again, as it's established law, why didn't somebody come to your mom to say these things are available?

[00:58:21] And, and you know what, I, I will have people, so, so for my injury within the first year of, of a nerve, of a severe nerve injury on the arm, that's when you will be like the strongest candidate for reconstructive surgery and, and different things like that. And people ask me that question, too.

[00:58:39] They said, why at nine didn't your mom pursue these things, blah, blah, blah. But I don't know. It was a different time. It was 1997, right? And, and again, it's like, where can I have some compassion and grace, yes, but not totally forgive the whole situation, but also be, like, critical that, like, how [00:59:00] lucky Not lucky, but how amazing is it now that in some ways we are in, in this cultural moment where I do feel like among some of my friends.

[00:59:11] It's cool to be disabled. I saw a couple of I saw a couple of my friends a couple of weeks ago, and I brought a copy of my book, and I was having them all take photos with my book, and there was someone else who was sitting at the table who, you know, was like, during a break time at a conference, had pulled up my book on Amazon and had placed her order for it, and then shared with me that she was the mom of a disabled kid, and she's been in survival mode trying to support her kid, and then she said, I want my kid to see all of you.

[00:59:43] Cause we were just having a grand old time, right? But I feel like 15 years ago, maybe that wasn't, I mean, but Crip Camp, then I'm like, how come I didn't know about Crip Camp? Because that's been around for a long time. So maybe, I mean, maybe they had, I think we just [01:00:00] needed the internet. That's what I think.

[01:00:01] Essentially, we needed the internet to be mainstream so that, because this is we're still talking about a proportion of the population, not the whole population. But I have this conversation with my daughter because she's in middle school and, you know, we're talking about accommodations and we're talking about Everything, all the time, and I'm like, it was like, I keep trying, I'm trying, I'm trying to explain to her, this stuff didn't exist when I was your age.

[01:00:32] These conversations weren't being had, like the ADA hadn't been in the 80. I was 20 where the ADA came in. Right. And so she's, I'm like, you're so lucky to have this kind of going from the medical model of deficit. There's something wrong with you. We have to fix it to the social model. Oh my God.

[01:00:54] You're just learning. Different models. I was like, Oh, [01:01:00] and I learned about that from our health system because we are taking classes about being neurodivergent and they talk about the how most of us grew up was in this medical model. Now we're linked about societies moving towards the social model of fix the system, accommodate everyone and everyone benefits.

[01:01:25] I can look at my kid and say, there is nothing wrong with you. We just need to have different supports in different areas. That's it. It is so refreshing to have, not just have that message at home, but it is growing rapidly. And I think a lot of it is due to social media and people having access to each other.

[01:01:51] What I'd like to do is, I will, can I say just one kind of random thought that came into my mind? [01:02:00] Absolutely. So as I mentioned in 2022, I went to this camp for people who have brachial plexus injuries, that's the name of my injury. And I, and they host these, this camp every, every other year. So I went again this year, and.

[01:02:13] They call us the injured adults, so you have the injured kids and you have the injured adults. And what was fascinating was, for one of my injured adult friends who was on a Netflix show amazing fashion designer who has a brachial plexus injury, he didn't know. That is what his disability was called until he became an adult.

[01:02:35] So I also just want to share, you know, you asked this question, why, why weren't these resources provided to your mom? It also highlights kind of a discrepancy in terms of how much I guess, like, when the disability happened and how much information we are given. Because I do have compassion for nine year old Tiffany that, because people will ask me Okay, is your injury C5 to C8?

[01:02:57] Is it a volt? They're using so many [01:03:00] terms that I don't understand. And so it's yes, compassion for nine year old Tiffany. Now I'm in my thirties. I want to have agency over better understanding my body and I'm meeting friends who have had this injury their whole lives and didn't have language around it until, like you said, the internet came out.

[01:03:19] So, maybe they would have never thought that there were protections in place. For this thing, this paralyzed arm, they didn't even have language or a diagnosis for. Exactly. Well, and so, my daughter's adopted, as I told you before we started recording, and we're a transracial family. So if both of her parents are in the same place, we know that he likely has joined our family through other means.

[01:03:52] Right. So we've, we've always talked about adoption. We've always talked about her home country. We've talked about her, her [01:04:00] family, the whole shebang. And at one point, a contemporary said to me, makes my heart really happy that you all are talking about adoption. So freely. And I said, I know, because, you know, Early in earlier generations, it was things that was, that was whispered about.

[01:04:19] It was things that we tried to pretend didn't happen. And she said, I know I have a sister who was adopted from Korea when she was a baby. And we've literally never spoken about it. And I was like, Oh, okay. She's should I talk to her? And I was like, yes, yes, you should. She's probably going to be mad, but just, yes, if you're called to have this connection with your sister.

[01:04:46] Yes, because Right? But it's so much has changed in terms of how we can be compassionate, how we can be inclusive, just in the conversations that we have with the people that we love and the people that we know. [01:05:00] Yeah. It kind of reminds me of I don't know if you saw this, but early when Lady early Lady Gaga, you know, was really big and people were making a lot of assumptions about her sexual identity.

[01:05:13] And she never said anything about it. And someone asked her about it later. They said, oh, why didn't you come up with a statement or correct anything? And she goes, Because being gay is not bad, you know? It's just, it's just, hey, I'm adopted, you know? And, and again, it comes back to the value ju the positive or negative value judgment we're attributing to experiences.

[01:05:35] So, it kind of, it made me think about that because I was like, oh, I actually really appreciate that. If they thought she was gay, great. If they thought she was straight, whatever. Whatever. Not whatever. I mean, we respect people's sexual orientation. But the thing is though, it's just I don't have to correct something that is no big deal.

[01:05:55] I mean, it's a big deal, except it's, if it, if we're not [01:06:00] feeling some sort of way, it's not a big deal. Okay, we're gonna do this really fast. Are you ready? Yes. First things first. Tiffany, I cannot tell you enough. See how much I am appreciative of this book being born. Thank you for sharing that. People have made it this far.

[01:06:18] Where can they find you and your book and how can they support your work? Yes. So the best place to find me is my website, tiffanyu. com. And there you'll find links to the book to be able to get it at any of your retailers. Something I'm super proud of is we're now in our second print. Less than two weeks out, which is huge, meaning there's an audience out there who is curious.

[01:06:45] Maybe they like the cover. Maybe it was orange because it's fall and pumpkin spice colors. I'm, but I'm just kidding. But, but that is, that's a big win for me. We are having some stock issues, but probably by the time this comes out, we will, we will have stock again. But you can also, also [01:07:00] follow me across social media.

[01:07:01] I know Tammy has mentioned I have TED Talks that you can watch. So if you like the content here, Want something more geared toward a workplace? I have a five minute TED Talk called How to Help Employees with Disabilities Thrive. But literally across social media, you can determine which version of Tiffany you would like.

[01:07:19] So, Tammy and I connected on threads where I talk a lot about kind of the behind the scenes of how this book process has been going. A lot of that doesn't make it onto Instagram, which to me feels Unfortunately, more like the Highlight Reel, and then if you want really raw, unfiltered stuff, you go over to TikTok.

[01:07:37] But, but yeah, you choose, you choose whatever formula you would like to consume. And then LinkedIn, LinkedIn is always a great place. Best thing you can do after you have gotten the book you can also check it out from your local library or request the title at your local library if they don't have it yet, is to leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon so it can reach new readers.

[01:07:58] I love that and I have [01:08:00] to say I already requested it at my library, both in audio. And print. Hopefully that will be coming soon. And in case anyone is wondering, can you request that books be purchased from your library? Yes, you can. And it is the best, the best thing ever, because you're sharing it, not just with yourself, but your entire community.

[01:08:23] And those reviews do matter. Okay, we're going to make this the fastest. Fastest quickfire actor studio style challenge ever. Okay, Tiffany, you, are you, what's your enneagram? One wing two. Oh, me too. No big surprise. There's a lot of trauma in that one. Okay, introvert, extrovert? Introvert. Same. Do you know your Myers Briggs?

[01:08:47] INFP. I am INFJ. On the Gretchen Rubin four tenancies, upholder, questioner, obliger, or rebel. Was that a quiz I was supposed to [01:09:00] take? Well, that was a quiz. It is a quiz. Do you know what? If you haven't taken it yet, I will just say, go find it. Because it's all about habit formation and are you somebody that has no problem?

[01:09:12] You're like, you're Mrs. New Year's resolutions are no problem. You are, I can't get myself to do anything and neither can anybody else. I need outer accountability. If no one, if I'm not doing something for somebody else, I can't do it. Or you question the entire existence of why anyone is asking you to do anything.

[01:09:30] I think the second you can't get any, get yourself to do anything and neither can anyone else. Yeah. And so that, okay, I would be curious. Go find it. I'll take, I'll take the quiz. Yeah. Take the quiz and then find me on threads and tell me because that is hilarious. Okay. If you're going to automate something, eliminate something or delegate something from the household, what would you do?

[01:09:53] What do you do? Ooh, I would delegate laundry, which is part of why I came back to LA, [01:10:00] because it's on my list. What were the first two? Automate. Automate. Yeah. Automate inbox management. Good one. And then, sorry. I want to eliminate that one. Oh, okay, and then eliminate? Yeah, with something you're just like, you know what, let's stop doing this.

[01:10:17] Mean comments on the internet.

[01:10:19] I believe there's filters for that. That's true. Yeah, somebody just gave me the longest list of filter words to put in your filter so you never even see the comments. And I was like, this is why we have to ask people about their behind the scenes, like, how do you do the thing that you do? This woman gave me this huge list and I was like, as soon as I figure out how to put a filter on comment, I'm gonna add this list.

[01:10:42] I feel like I want that list too. Right, okay, I'll see if I can find it. The most recent book that you read that you're like, Shut up, everyone has to read this. I mean, other than your own, which you've probably read 45 times at this point. Yeah, so I read, you know, and I will say there were [01:11:00] times I read the book, I go through phases where I'm like, ooh, this is really gonna change lives.

[01:11:04] And then I'm like, oh, I would have done this differently. This acronym that I made up doesn't make any sense. If you read the book, you'll understand what that means. But I read, I actually read this book called Conscious Uncoupling. Recently I was going through a breakup and it really helped. Helped my grief journey around coming to terms with it.

[01:11:26] Do you remember the author? I think her name is Stephanie Woodward Thomas. She wrote, she also wrote the book called Calling in the One. And then she and her partner ended up uncoupling. And then she wrote Conscious Uncoupling. Okay, I, I, I'm diggin that. I mean, depending on who you are, you can read Calling in the One or you can read Conscious Uncoupling.

[01:11:48] But I haven't, I haven't finished reading Calling in the One, which is the one I'm, which is the one I'm currently reading. Okay. What's your favorite personal development book? And by that I mean a book that when you [01:12:00] read it you're like, well apparently I'm gonna have to put some or all of this into place and it helped change something about my life.

[01:12:07] Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

[01:12:08] I mentioned Brene Brown on every podcast I'm on. So, Sister Brene, welcome. You have now been mentioned. We can all, we can all move on from here. What is your favorite book of all time? Ooh. Okay, I really loved Educated by Tara Westover. I hated it when I was trying to read it, then I got it on audio.

[01:12:30] Whoever, I think, does she narrate her own book? I think she might. I don't know, but actually when I, when I read it, I think I listened to it on audiobook. I was like, I want to write a memoir. I, I was blown away. It was like a, it was riveting. Loved it. What is your favorite social media channel? Which version of you do you like?

[01:12:53] Ooh, I, I will say I like LinkedIn feels like my happy place. And threads too, a [01:13:00] little bit. But Instagram is where I have the most fun. I just get a lot of joy out of taking a really fun photo. And then, and then editing it. Okay, and you know what, now I feel like I'm going to have to follow you on all the channels so I can see how you're differentiating your content there.

[01:13:17] I mean, threads, I'm so different. Sometimes I'm like, maybe I shouldn't put as much writer thread stuff on here. But like, where else, where else do I go? Right. And I feel like threads is Twitter back in 2009, which is where you could have interesting conversations with smart people that you would never know.

[01:13:36] Like I didn't go searching for you. You were, you were on my, on my feed and I, I said something to you and then you said something back and I was like, I love this kind of social media. Now, will it disintegrate at some point? Of course it will. However I put tons of stuff there that I don't put anywhere else, just like I did on Twitter.

[01:13:56] I was like, I don't know why this is a different world. Maybe because it's [01:14:00] short form. No pictures. I don't know, but it feels different. And I'm, I differentiate based on the platform too. So, what's your favorite TV show, past or present? Or if you have like a screenplay for one in your brain, what would it be?

[01:14:15] Schitt's Creek. I mean, Well, you told me it was going to be a quick, it was going to be a quick what do they call these? Like the popcorn questions? Yeah. You're like, I'm doing it. Schitt's Creek. Beautiful. Okay. Last but not least, because I want to make sure every single episode is explicit. And I did steal this directly from inside the actor's studio with James Lipton from the nineties.

[01:14:39] And that is Tiffany, you, what is your favorite swear word? Ooh. Okay. You read the book. So I actually don't swear. And you know what? When people don't swear, I find that absolutely fascinating, but I guess I'll say bad ass swears. Is that a swear word? [01:15:00] Sure. I mean, let's just put it this way. If you said it in a classroom, somebody would raise an eyebrow.

[01:15:05] And that's all we can do, right, Tiffany? I mean, it was fascinating going through the book and replacing the swear words with bracket expletive. And, and then as I was reading the audio book, I would say expletive. And I was like, it just, it just doesn't land the same way. It doesn't. Okay. I'm Gen X and I don't have any tattoos.

[01:15:26] There we go. So everybody has their thing, right? So Tiffany. Thank you for writing this book. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for putting yourself on the internet so I could find you. Everyone go to tiffanyu and it's yu. com where you can find out about all of Tiffany's work, including her book.

[01:15:50] You can check out our Ted Talks and bring this book to you. to the spaces that need it. If you have a kid at school, gift it to somebody at the [01:16:00] school. If you have an employee resource group at your job, bring it there. I don't know if you work in corporate, bring it to HR because everybody needs this help.

[01:16:12] Everyone needs this book. So until next week, remember that you matter too.