Transcript:

Tami: [00:00:00] Welcome to the 100% guilt-free self-care podcast with Tami. Hackbarth the podcast here to remind you that you matter to hello friends. We are almost at summer, which means it’s time to talk about. The summer of intentionality this week, we are at episode 61. And before we get to summer of intentionality, I want to remind you that we have a sponsor and her name is Tami.

Hackbarth the 100% guilt-free self-care coach friends. I have four spots available for one-on-one coaching, AKA the satisfaction sessions. I will tell you more about it. During the show. All right. Episode 61, the summer of intentionality. So I don’t know, a decade ago, my friend Rosie, Molinari who I interviewed in episode 11 and reviewed her book.

Beautiful. You in episode 10, don’t quote me on that, but it was buried. Early on Rosie introduced me to this idea that she learned from a friend, either in high school or college. And that was every summer, his family challenged him to come up a list of things. He wanted to learn things he wanted to do and things he wanted to read.

And here’s the thing. This list. Ever since I have known Rosie, which is about a decade, I have been making a list of things I want to do. And it’s not like the yucky stuff you have to do, like clean out your basement. You know, it’s like fun stuff, like go on a road trip or in the case of, if you ask a nine-year-old they’ll say spend the night at grandma’s.

Right. So it’s, so the to-do list is things that you want to do. The, to read list seems pretty obvious. And the to learn list means that your mind is engaged all summer long. So why did this thing catch on with me so much that I have kept this tradition alive for a decade. And that is if I’m not careful with my time.

I will spend all my time scrolling on social media and get nothing done. So I will ask you the question. I asked the Facebook group this morning, and that is who do you want to be at the end of the summer? We’re in a weird summer space because a lot of us are still working at home. A lot of kids are still at home.

And as we were sitting around my breakfast table the other day my family and I agreed, it feels like we’ve already had summer vacation because we were together the whole spring. But now we’re actually having real summer vacation, meaning that we are going to be together all summer, but now we have to come up with lists of things to do so.

I want to challenge you during this time. And every summer to come up with a list of things that will help your time feel really intentional. So if, again, ask yourself who do I want to be by the end of the summer? And if you want to be somebody who can play two songs on the piano, you better put, learn how to play piano on your list.

If you want to be someone who is well rested at the end of the summer. What actions do you have to put on your list in order to make that dream of being well-rested come true? So I’ve been doing this for a long time, so I’m just going to go right into my list of things I want to learn. So. For summer 2020, the things that have made my list so far.

Oh, one thing I should mention is that your list does not have to be exhausted. Your list doesn’t have to be everything you ever wanted to learn in your life, nor do you have to finish everything on your list. This list is just a reminder to make your actions match who you want to be by the end of the summer.

Okay. With that in mind, my, to my, to learn list. Includes how to play cribbage. At one point, I knew how to play cribbage. I have completely scrubbed my brain of that knowledge and we are a huge board games, family. Like we play board games several times a day, even during the school year. I know it sounds weird, but we play in the morning.

Now we play at lunch and we definitely play before bed. So we are board game fanatics and. My daughter got a cribbage board. It was sort of aspirational. It was like somebody should get her a cribbage board. And then she’s like, I have no idea what this is. And I thought, I totally don’t remember how to play.

So I’m going to learn how to play cribbage. We’re going to play, learn. I’m going to teach my nine year old, how to play a very old school board game called Scattergories. Why you say a, because I love it. It’s one of my favorite games and too my dad and step-mom have that game at their house. And then we can play that on zoom because they have the same game at their house.

Three. I’m going to learn how to be more anti-racist in my actions, because I’ve been doing a lot of reading for like, Decades. And my bookshelf is already fairly diverse and I’m adding titles as you know, Every day, because I’m a fast reader I’ve been using the library and as anti-racist titles are coming in, I’m getting all this information, but here’s what I want to say.

And I know a lot of you are doing that too. It’s now, when you have the knowledge, then what do you do? So I’m going to try to figure out some tangible actions that I can take to help dismantle all of the systemic. Racist problems that we have. So mine will most likely be. Because I’m a big choose your lane kind of person.

Mine will most likely be in the voter suppression and the getting out the vote area. But I need to take actions. I need to learn which actions would actually be helpful because people who aren’t me have been taking these actions for decades. And I need to get in there and learn where I can be a soldier in this war against racism.

I need to learn how to take better care of my back and my neck, because I don’t get those monthly massages for nothing friends. I miss my massages like nobody’s business. So Kate, if you’re listening, I love you. I miss you. I can’t wait to get the gang back together. And finally on my to learn list is I’m a member of social curator, which is Jasmine stars.

Group coaching program. And I feel like I never ever use all of the resources and I want to learn how to be more effective by using Jasmine stars class that I’m already in. And if you aren’t a member of social curator, go check it out. Cause she, if you want to build your business on social media, Jasmine star is amazing as a coach.

Okay. Other ways I plan to learn the summer is to catch up on some documentary watching and film watching. So I’ve added a 13th Selma and just mercy to my watch list. Yeah, there’s a ton of great anti-racist and pro black films. And right now in June, 2020, they’re all. Most of them are free and readily available on Netflix and Amazon prime.

So let’s get to watch it. All right. Let’s have an ad break.  this show is brought to you by satisfaction sessions with Tami Hackbarth now satisfaction sessions. You may be wondering what is that? Well, it’s a fancy way of saying I help you. Find more satisfaction in your life. These are one-on-one sessions.

We worked together for six months and you think she’s, that’s a really long time. Why such a long time to which I say. Because it takes a long time to create the plan of what you want to have accountability to go after what you want to have some stumbling and to get up and to have somebody there to support you all the way through to your goals.

You can find out more about satisfaction sessions on my website@wwwdottamihackbarth.com. And that’s what I’ve got for you. Again, I’ve got four slots open for July. So if you would like to work with me to make your 2021 rock way more than 2020, go ahead and hop on over to my website and get on my schedule for 30 minutes.

Are we a good fit session where we can talk and see if I can be of help to you? And now back to the show. Okay. So I explained the notion of the summer of intentionality, and that is Rosie learned this from a friend who then took it on her life, who shared it with me, and I’ve been doing it for the last 10 years.

And the, and again, we’re creating lists of things that are going to support who do I want to be at the end of the summer. So I had a big to learn list. And here’s what I’m going to tell you. Some people might be like, Oh my God, I can’t possibly take on such a giant list. I’m not asking you to take on a giant list.

This is my giant list, because remember I work at home. My family is at home and summer is typically kind of my slow season. So I have a lot of time in the summer that maybe you don’t have. So if you are somebody that has. An eight to five or a nine to five or whatever those hours are. We, if you have a regular job where you’re clocking in 40 hours, maybe you put like one or two things on your list to learn.

I’m going to have a bunch because I’m ambitious like that. And I’m also super comfortable. And this is going to sound funny to some of you I’m super comfortable with not meeting my goals. I know it’s weird, right. But hear me out. I want to put ambitious goals out for myself because then I’ll reach further and achieve more than if I only put on my list, what I think I can achieve.

It’s a little food for that. Okay. So I gave you my to learn list. Here’s my to-do list. We’re going to do this and be like, God, this is, I don’t know how you’re making this sound really like the sexiest less. So remember this traditionally is a list of things that you want to do, like go on a road trip or spend that on your grandma’s or go fishing or this or that.

Well we’re, this is all at home stuff. So you ready? I’m going to do daily exercises for my neck and my back that had been given to me by my amazing bodyworker Kate, and I’m actually going to do them. Crazy. I know to do ti again, back and neck health are really important and I apparently have forgotten that.

And now it’s time to take back over daily cleaning schedule and teaching my kid how to clean. I know some of you are like, this sounds terrible. Remember, this is my to-do list. Not yours. I can’t think of anything better than teaching a young person. How to be a successful roommate. When they’re young, I’m going to tell you, you’ve never found a more enthusiastic helper than somebody who is under 10.

All they want to do is be your friend, be around you and be more grown up. And I’m like, Oh my God, I could teach you skills right now that you can take with you forever and maybe make you a great roommate while you’re a child. I’m going to do that. Okay. So we’re going to go back to daily cleaning, otherwise known as.

The tidy, the 15 minute tidy that I learned from Carly of tidy revival, episode 16, I believe. We’re going to get back into that. And then we’re going to get into the nitty gritty of actually doing all those things, like moving furniture and cleaning around it and taking things down. And we’re going to do some deep cleaning.

Also cleaning suits me. This is pretty anxious time. So it seems like a good idea. Okay. Earlier this year I started putting together some ideas for a book. I want to write a book. So if I’m going to write a book, I should probably put it on my to-do list and actually. Tell you my lovely listeners that I want to do this, so maybe we’ll actually do it.

The other thing I want to do is I want to revise all of the copy of my website because I think it’s time. So big, sexy to dues, lots of writing and lots of cleaning and lots of exercise. The last list on the summer of intentionality is, Oh, Let me go back to this on your to-do list, make it things that you actually want to do.

Not stuff that you think you have to don’t should on yourself, but things that you’re actually like, I want to do that. I want to write a book. I want to do these exercises. Maybe yours is, I want to use my hammock. I want to make sure that I make ice cream with the kids, or I fly a kite or any of the, anything that you think might be fun or supportive or nurturing or nourishing for you, put it on your list.

And again, we’re not going to try to check off every box on the list. We’re going to be a bit aspirational so that we can lead a bigger, more intentional life this summer. All right back to my reading list, which I think is really funny right now, because I always have like 20 books checked out of the library, at least.

So this summer I am reading, waking up white by Debby Irving. I already started it. I’m reading. Royal holiday by Jasmine Guillory. I am reading self-compassion by Kristin Neff. Yes, I’ve already read that, but boy, do I need to keep at it? I’m reading. Don’t overthink it by Anne Bogle. I’m reading, reclaiming our space by Feminista Jones.

I am reading the memo by Minda Harts. I’m reading why we can’t sleep by ADA Calhoun. P S it’s all about. Gen X women it’s actually really it’s. I like it so far. I’m reading the art of showing up by Rachel Wilkerson Miller. I am reading the new Jim Crow. By Michelle Alexander. And that is just the beginning of my reading list this summer.

And if you have interest in following along with what I’m reading, please hop on over to good reads and you can find me@tammy_athotmail.com. That’s my that’s what I’m signed up in. Good reads as, so there you have it. I have a, quite a long list. I’m also reading a lot with my kid. Because we’re at the precipice of her becoming a really fluent and enthusiastic reader and she just needs that extra support.

So I’m doing lots of paired reading with her this summer. All right. So I’m going to ask you again, who do you want to be at the end of summer 2020? And what actions will you take to be the person that you want to be? So get a piece of paper. Get a pencil, write down who you want to be, then write down what you’re going to do, what you’re going to read and what you’re going to learn in order to become the person that you want to be.

That’s my summer of intentionality for 2020. I hope you’ll join me in setting aside time to read, to learn and to have fun. All right. This is probably a good time to tell you that I am taking a summer break from the podcast. If you are curious about what episodes I think you should go back and listen to, I would love to tell you so first things first, my break I’m taking, so I can actually spend time with my family so that I can.

Lounge around in my hammock and read a lot and really recover from a really intense spring where we did distance learning at my house times two, I need a break. So that being said, I will be back in September and I will still be on Instagram. I will still be in the 100% guilt-free self-care Facebook group.

If you would like to join us there, you can go to www.tamihackbarth.com/episode 61, where you will find. Your invitation to the shown up or invitation to the Facebook group and the show notes. I would love for you to go back and listen to any episodes that you met, that you missed. We have an entire Enneagram series that includes recommendations for your Enneagram type for self-care.

I would go back to the beginning and maybe listen to the foundations of self care. A series that is in episodes. One to 10, I would go back and listen to the episodes I did with Meagan Morgan and Rosie Molinari and Cashay Jackson Henderson and Alicia summer. I will be sending out my newsletter every week, this summer.

And I will be linking to shows that you should check out. So if you’re not yet on the newsletter list, you can go to the website and sign up there. All right friends, I am very much thankful that you have been with me for this first year of podcasting. And I’m looking forward to seeing you again in September.

And, or in the Facebook group. And until then, here’s your reminder that you matter too.