My Night Time Self-Care Routine

My Night Time Self-Care Routine

 

My morning routine is non-negotiable. This helps me start my day feeling the way I want to feel: calm, nourished and nurtured.

 

The morning through afternoon is solid. I feel like things are under control and I’m productive. In short, I feel like this non-negotiable self-care helps set the tone for my day and helps me be who I want to be and feel the way I want to feel.

 

Hooray for 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care!

 

 

After dinner feels way different though. It feels off, not quite solid, because it is willy nilly.  I do different things and not surprisingly, I get different results. So for now we’ll call this evening “routine” a work in progress.

 

My night time sleep routine is solid. It has to be or I am a mess the next day because I don’t sleep. I am the ultimate princess and the pea come to life!

 

I have to say sleep prep doesn’t start at bedtime. It really starts at lunchtime. You can watch me talk about how to get more sleep here.

 

My night time “routine” includes:

 

  • Not drinking caffeine after lunch.
  • Not drinking alcohol at all because it disturbs my sleep even if I just have a little bit. God knows, I’ve tried.
  • Soaking in the bath really early and being in my pajamas before 7pm.
  • No screen time after 9pm.
  • Reading real books – preferably fiction for an hour before sleep.
  • Blackout curtains, fan for white noise, air purifier, and the best eye mask.
  • The sunset feature on my alarm clock deserves its own love letter. This ish changed my relationship to morning AND going to sleep.
  • Keep the house cool.
  • So so many sleep things!

 

The part of my evening that needs some attention is the 7-8:30/9pm part. Honestly this time of night you can find me sitting on the couch snacking on carbs scrolling through my phone.

 

Not ideal.

 

So I’m going to do some brainstorming on what my ideal post dinner/pre bedtime routine looks and feels like.

 

Here are some questions to ponder:

  • How does what I am currently doing make me feel?
  • How does what I am currently doing contribute to my overall wellbeing?
  • What would I rather be doing instead?
  • What activities could I fill that time with that would get me closer to how I want to feel in my life?
  • Who do I want to spend that time with?
  • What do I really need (instead of carbs and scrolling)?
  • What if I never changed anything about this hour of my evening? How would life look and feel in 5 years?
  • What habits and routines do you want to develop to make this time of day feel more nourishing and nurturing?

 

Feel free to use these questions as a starting point when you are developing your own evening (or morning) routines.

 

What does your evening self-care routine look like?

 

 

If you’d like some help developing your morning and evening routines so you can feel the way you want to feel in your life, I can help!

 

Your Invitation to Work With Me

 

 

Self-Care SOS is a three month program where we work one-on-one to get your habits and routines on track. If you are someone who needs accountability and guidance to make your self-care a priority, I am here to help.

 

Please schedule your Are We a Good Fit Session today!

 

 

 

 

What’s Your Love Language?

What’s Your Love Language?

Happy Valentine’s Day! We are halfway through Love Month and today I want to talk about love languages and how they relate to self-knowledge.

 

 

Have you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? Do you know your primary and secondary love languages? Take the quiz to find out.

 

 

Disclaimer: I don’t highly recommend this book. I bought it, read it and at the end was wanting to tear out the last 20% of the book. The author is super religious and that rubs me the wrong way. That being said, I LOVE the concepts in the book. So if you’d like to get what you need without having to read the book – check out this episode of the Buy The Book podcast.  Kristin and Jolenta break it down with a lot of humor and hit all the necessary points perfectly.

 

What is The Five Love Languages and why does it matter?

I will start with why it matters. As I said here, the best way to build habits and routines that work is through self-knowledge. What works for me might not work for you. What we need and how we respond to the world is different based on who we are as people. So the love languages gives us another piece of the self-knowledge puzzle.

 

 

Specifically why the love languages matters is because your love language is how you feel love and in turn most likely how you show love to others. This matters because what makes you tick is different from what makes me or your partner or sister or BFF tick.

 

The five love languages are:

 

Words of Affirmations (or as I like to call it, GOLD STARS). This is my primary love language. I am driven by genuine, specific compliments. Encouraging words what gets me going in the morning.  It makes my heart sing to hear how great you think I am doing and I love being acknowledged. This is my husband’s secondary love language, so he also digs compliments and gold stars. Compliments make WOA folks feel loved.

 

Acts of Service (or as I like to call it, Getting Shit Done). This is my husband’s primary love language. That dude is always doing stuff around the house, at work, for others. He shows how much he loves you by doing all the yard work, washing the car and putting all the groceries away.  I get it! This is my secondary language. I am a fan of helping people do unpleasant tasks like cleaning out their closets and reading endless rounds of copy for their website. For a full love experience, just wrap it up with a compliment and genuine appreciation at the end. For the Acts of Service folks to feel love, you have to do stuff for them!

 

Quality Time (or as I like to call it, Asses in the Seats). If this is your love language you value time with your people. You always want to be doing stuff with them. You could be running errands at Target or IKEA or seeing your favorite band.  You want to spend time at a cabin and sit by them while you read a book. You just want your peeps to be nearby. For QT people,  you have to show up and stick around for them to feel loved.

 

Physical Touch (or as I like to call it Snuggling and Cuddling) – This is one is super straightforward. You like to hold hands when you walk together places, you like to hug, you want to put your feet in your partner’s lap or have them rub your head. Big bear hugs, massages and touch make PT people feel loved.

 

Receiving Gifts – (or as I like to call it, The Generous Ones) – These folks are the best gift givers in the world. They always send the most thoughtful gifts. If you are on the receiving end of a Gifts person, know that in order for them to feel loved, they need to get gifts too! The gifts don’t have to be expensive, just well thought out.

 

Knowing your love language and ultimately all about YOU will help you build a more personalized self-care plan. Knowing the love languages of your friends, partner and kids will help you express love toward them the way they best feel it. When you share your love language with the people in your life, hopefully they will show you love the way you feel it best.

 

Want to learn more about personalized self-care and how to put it to work in your life?

 

Your Invitation to Work With Me

 

 

Self-Care SOS is a three month program where we work one-on-one to get your habits and routines on track. If you are someone who needs accountability and guidance to make your self-care a priority, I am here to help.

 

Please schedule your Are We a Good Fit Session today!

 

 

 

My Non-Negotiable Morning Self-Care Routine

My Non-Negotiable Morning Self-Care Routine

Happy Love Month. This is a perfect time to think about how to be more loving to ourselves. And nothing says self-love like self-care!

 

I believe how you start your day sets the tone for the rest of your day. I believe that how you live your days, you live your life.

 

That said, what do I do to start my day?

 

My Morning Routine:

 

Reflection – (two minutes) – I keep a spreadsheet of questions in my phone. So many people have laughed when they hear this! I use a spreadsheet so I never have the excuse of not being able to find my journal or a pen, or of having bad penmanship.  I ask myself the same questions every day and have for years. I have a running record of my answers over the years.

 

Attention – (two minutes) – I glance at my calendar and see where I might run into obstacles. I make a plan B and jot my idea in my spreadsheet. This helps me anticipate where I might get tripped up in the day and having a plan allows me to make better decisions.

 

Intention – (two minutes) – I decide how I want to feel for the day and write it down. I check in with my word of the year. Do these align? What adjustments will I make to feel the way I want to feel in my life?

 

Gratitude – (three-five minutes) – I write down at least five things I am grateful for and why. Here’s a piece I wrote called How To: Make Yourself Happier The Easy Way. 

 

Meditation – (10-20 minutes) – Headspace – I have been an almost daily user since 2013. Go here for tips to start or maintain a meditation practice or the science behind why everyone should be meditating daily.

 

Breakfast and tea– (5-15 minutes) – I love breakfast: eggs, burritos, oatmeal, soup, leftovers from dinner, avocado toast, green smoothies, I love it all!

 

Movement – (20-60 minutes) – I have to move my body or I get sad and irritable. I wish it wasn’t so, but there is no denying the benefits of movement. I sprinkle movement throughout my day. For yoga movement I am a Curvy Yoga subscriber, for my fitness needs I am a Trainer in Your Back Pocket subscriber and for cardio I love to bounce on my rebounder or walk and talk with a friend or client. I walk errands, stretch while watching TV and make it a point to move 7 days a week. Movement for me isn’t about looking a certain way, it is about feeling good in my body regardless of size or shape. It is a long term investment in my longevity. I’m banking on this exercise keeping me mobile well into my 70s and 80s (and maybe beyond)!

 

Everything except movement gets done first thing in the morning. My self-care morning routine is absolutely non-negotiable.

 

You’ve got to wake up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction. —George Lorimer

 

Ready to make some changes in your morning routine?

 

 

Your Invitation to Work With Me

 

 

Self-Care SOS is a three month program where we work one-on-one to get your habits and routines on track. If you are someone who needs accountability and guidance to make your self-care a priority, I am here to help.

 

Please schedule your Are We a Good Fit Session today!

 

How to Build Healthy Habits and Routines

How to Build Healthy Habits and Routines

I believe deeply in the power of self-care. I believe each day is a chance of a new beginning.

 

I believe that anchoring the day with habits and rituals to care for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies will get us a lot closer to our dream life than guzzling coffee to start the day and drinking too many glasses of wine to before bed.

 

How do we build the habits we want and move away from the ones we don’t?

 

I am a big believer in self-knowledge as a tool to creating habits.  Once you know how you respond to expectations from yourself and others, you can then build your habits based on that knowledge.

 

Do you easily meet expectations you set for yourself? For instance, do you decide you want to take up running and then just do it? You might be an Upholder.

 

Do you easily meet expectations others set for you? For instance, you join a training group and never miss a practice because others are relying on you? You might be an Obliger. (Lots of my clients are Obligers).

 

Are you someone who can easily do things that make sense to you and can’t be bothered with things that don’t? For instance, you can make a plan and stick to training once you are convinced it is right for you. You might be a Questioner (like me).

 

Or are you someone who has a hard time keeping up with things you wanted to do and aren’t interested in others telling you what to do?  You might be a Rebel.

 

Are you curious to find out which Tendency you are and how to best build new habits based on that self-knowledge? Take the Quiz here.

 

 

Your Invitation to Work With Me

 

 

Self-Care SOS is a three month program where we work one-on-one to get your habits and routines on track. If you are someone who needs accountability and guidance to make your self-care a priority, I am here to help.

 

Please schedule your Are We a Good Fit Session today!

 

 

 

 

 

My Word for 2018

My Word for 2018

A number of years ago I stopped making resolutions and started setting yearly intentions instead. I was tired of admitting defeat by February (or October when I made new school year resolutions) and filing my good intentions away as another set of failures.

 

Now instead of deciding to become a different person each January 1st – one who flosses daily, goes to the gym 7 days a week, writes every single day for an hour, aka setting New Year’s Resolutions – I decide how I want my life to feel in the upcoming year. and let my behavior be decided by how I want to feel.

 

I choose one word to guide my year. There are a gazillion different ways to choose a word of the year. The process I have been using for the last five years is from my wonderful friend, Rosie Molinary.  My words easily find me when I use her 20 questions.

 

I have written a lot about my different words over the years and why I use a touchstone word. You can find all my writing about my previous words here.

 

What word will guide you in 2018?

My 2018 Word:

SATIATE: To completely satisfy yourself or a need.

 

For me this word means paying close attention in my life.

 

I will mindfully eat when I am hungry and stop before I am too full.

 

I will ask myself frequently what I need in order to feel satisfied/enough.

 

How much sleep? How much movement? How much solitude? How much togetherness?

 

I am going for a refined state of being in 2018 with satiate.

 

What about you, what will be your 2018 state of being?

 

Ready for some support in your self-care?

 

Join me for the

10 Day

100% Guilt-Free Self-Care Challenge

We start January 31st!

 

100% Guilt-Free Self-Care Challenge

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Want to get great at something? Get a coach.

Want to get great at something? Get a coach.

 

Whenever I want to get better at something – whether it be teaching, feeding myself in a loving way, making peace with my body regardless of the size and shape, dressing myself to really show who I am or creating a business that loves me back – I hire a coach.

 

I am not the only one. Dr. Gawande, a surgeon, hired a coach to help him save lives. He believes to much in the power of coaching he brought it to a clinic in India to improve their infant mortality rate.

 

He says it best in his TED talk on the Power of Coaching.

 

 

The long and short of it is if you want to get better – at anything –  get a coach.

 

If you are someone who wants to get better at your job, or parenting, or treating your body well it’s time to stop going at it alone. Everyone who wants to get better and go farther works with a coach.

 

I’d love to talk to you about coaching and see how I can help you meet your goals in 2018. I have six Are We A Good Fit Appointments in January. Please click here to grab one for yourself.