Sunday Link Love #19

Took my little to a baseball game, spent a day sitting on the grass chatting to friends and watching our kids dance, cheer and generally exhibit hilarious baseball fan behavior. This is a reminder to do this more. I am not even a baseball fan per se and yet it was absolutely delightful!

 

How are you this week?

 

Each week in 2018 I’ll be sending you articles that have sparked my interest because they are all about Self-Care and Life Satisfaction.

 

 

Golden Milk Turmeric Tea – My lungs have been so challenged this spring. I am just now getting over The Cough and I am doing what I can to support my lung health. Plus, this is so delicious!

 

 

Grief and The Lungs: Chinese Medicine – so interested in seeing how the body systems work together with emotions.

 

 

5 Ways to Get Through the Day When You Feel Like Shit – I am a huge fan of cutting out caffeine, only doing the absolutely necessary, taking a bath and promising myself an early bedtime.

 

 

 

Self-Care Isn’t An Indulgence. It’s a Discipline. – what kind of happiness you choose.YES. It is also related to

 

 

 

Why I’m Taking My Evenings Back – what would you like your evening to look like? Here are some questions to help guide you.

 

 

 Why Hire a Life Coach? – Are you ready? Let’s talk!

 

 

What does work life balance look like for you? What would you like to change about work to make your life better?

 

 

I’d love to know what you are reading,  watching and listening to these days. Tell me all about it!

 

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,
Tami

PS: If you want to be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops and opportunities to work together – get on the list.

8 Things I Learned in April

8 Things I Learned in April

Inspired by Modern Mrs. Darcy, here are 8 Things I Learned In April.

 

ONE:: How to Not (Accidentally) Raise a Racist – Such a great conversation for white folks to hear and start having with those around them.

 

TWO::  Positivity ratio matters.  You can measure your level of positivity.

 

THREE::  Some of my favorite new friends are REBELS. What are you?

 

FOUR::  So many of the people around me are 3s and 4s. Does this mean I am attracting these sorts to me? Or is this a coincidence?

 

FIVE:: Asthma is new part of my life. I’m just at the beginning of figuring out how to best care for myself long term.

 

SIX:: Starting a house project was way less energy consuming than worrying about starting the project. I’ve learned this lesson before. I think I should probably make some sort of reminder about this lesson. Tattoo perhaps?

 

SEVEN::  Asking for help from people who are qualified to give said help is nothing short of miraculous. I am letting someone else show their expertise and they get to shine. Then with all the time (and energy) I am saving from trying to do stuff I’m not great at, I get to spend my time doing what I do well. This is a win win!

 

EIGHT::  Weekly neighborhood potlucks are delightful and surprisingly easy to coordinate.

 

What did you learn in April?

Sunday Link Love #18

Sunday Link Love #18

Spent a day sitting by the lake reading a book and watching my kid fish with the grandparents. This is a reminder to do this more. Absolutely delightful!

 

How are you this week?

 

Each week in 2018 I’ll be sending you articles that have sparked my interest because they are all about Self-Care and Life Satisfaction.

 

 

18 Best Books On Happiness: How to Live a Life Full of Joy – So many of my favorites!

 

 

Steal Googlers’ Secret For Avoiding Burnout in a High Stress Job – what we do for self-care matters.

 

 

Creamy Lemon Bars (vegan) – I absolutely love lemon desserts. This will be a hit at our next neighborhood potluck and because they are gluten and dairy-free everyone will be able to enjoy them.

 

 

 

Make Yourself 25% More UNComfortable – what if instead of the comfortable thing that is short term, we instead do the slightly less comfortable thing that is beneficial in the long term? I think of it as pay now or pay the rest of your life, so some temporary discomfort can bring positive outcomes later.

 

 

 

How Parents Can Help Kids Develop a Sense of Purpose – Great questions to help develop one for yourself if you haven’t yet.

 

 

13 Ways to Bust Out of a Rut – action, action, action.

 

 

 

 Why Hire a Life Coach? – Are you ready? Let’s talk!

 

 

 

What if doing well in school and in life is much more than your ability our learn quickly and easily? What motivates people?

 

 

I’d love to know what you are reading,  watching and listening to these days. Tell me all about it!

 

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,
Tami

PS: If you want to be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops and opportunities to work together – get on the list.

Two Kinds of Happiness – What Do You Choose?

Two Kinds of Happiness – What Do You Choose?

In the study of Positive Psychology — or the scientific study of what makes life worth living — there are two kinds of happiness.

 

The first kind is hedonic happiness. It is focused on increasing pleasure and decreasing/avoiding pain. It focuses on the current state of emotions.  It is short-lived and there is always a sense of wanting to move on to the next best thing.

 

The second kind of happiness is eudaimonic happiness (pronounced you-de-mon-ic). It is focused on striving for a meaningful existence. It allows for the ups and downs in the emotional state. It acknowledges that over the course of a lifetime there will be times of pleasure, but also discomfort and pain. It allows for adversity and growth as a result of the adversity. It looks at the experiences and actions taken in a lifetime for areas of growth and the day to day emotions are less important. It is happiness over the long game.

 

Moving from a life that is more hedonic happiness focused into a life that is more eudaimonic happiness focused is a game-changer. I know because I’ve experienced it and so do my clients who come to me because they want a more meaningful life.

 

 

Let me explain.

 

 

We live in a very hedonic culture in America. We want short cuts and we want to feel good all the time. We expect people to say they are fine when we ask and we do what we need to do to stop feeling not fine.

 

 

For example:

 

Feeling tired? Drink some coffee! Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

Feeling sad/anxious/hopeless/overwhelmed? Drink some wine! Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

Feeling out of sorts because you compared your life  to someone else’s? Buy the thing!

 

That thing you bought didn’t fix how you feel? Buy another thing! Repeat, repeat, repeat.

 

These are some simple examples of how hedonic happiness can show up in our lives. I definitely have been here.  I am still here on occasion because no one is perfect and hedonic happiness isn’t bad in and of itself.

 

 

What if we experimented with the eudaimonic happiness route instead? What could that look like?

 

 

Feeling tired? Acknowledge six hours isn’t enough to feel rested. Decide to get more sleep so you can feel good in the morning. Set an alarm to remind you to go to bed. Repeat until you are rested.

 

 

Feeling sad/anxious/hopeless/overwhelmed? Acknowledge these are all human feelings and that they will pass. Find a kind, compassionate person to help sit with the feelings. This could be a coach, a therapist, another healing professional. Be the kind, compassionate person to yourself who realizes she may need therapeutic intervention and maybe medication.

 

 

Feeling out of sorts because you compared your life to someone else’s? Acknowledge we don’t really know what is going on in other people’s lives especially if we are comparing our messy insides to their Instagram curated outsides. Then remember that we humans are all in this together. We all suffer. We all make mistakes.  We are all doing the best we can.

 

 

Hedonic happiness isn’t wrong. Pleasure feels good. But ultimately for a lot of people it just doesn’t feel like enough. We end up searching for meaning and satisfaction after a life of pursuing pleasure.

 

Where are you on the two types of happiness scale? Do you lean more hedonic or more eudaimonic? 

 

What do you think would help you feel more the way you want to feel in your life?

 

 

 

 

Sunday Link Love #17

Sunday Link Love #17

Spring has been showing off here in Sacramento: thunderstorms, rain, hail, temps in the 50s, followed by fog, followed by temps in the mid 80s. Feels super unsettled and WHOA, I’ve been needing some grounding.

 

I’ve been meal planning and cooking a lot this week, spending time reading this, this and this and meditating every day before I take my kid to school. I’ve been working on staying grounded in an unsettled time. 

 

How are you this week?

 

Each week in 2018 I’ll be sending you articles that have sparked my interest because they are all about Self-Care and Life Satisfaction.

 

 

Which is Worse? – second choice all the way for me.

 

 

What Is It Like to Raise Kids in Germany? – six weeks off + 10 bank holidays, a slower pace of life and long walks… sign me up!

 

 

How to Feel Better When You Aren’t Really Sick – co-sign

 

 

 

Let’s Stop Pretending It’s Always Easy – take the credit and the compliment.

 

 

 

Aiming for Discipline Instead of Punishment – While this is about schools, students and classrooms many of the lessons here apply to how we treat ourselves when trying to change habits and make changes in our lives. If we are cruel to ourselves, we actually get in the way of creating new learning because …the research is clear. Our brains learn best in a state of relaxed alertness.

 

 

Supper Club, Introvert Style – with a bit of planning and forethought we can all get through the awkward parts.

 

 

 

 Why Hire a Life Coach? – Are you ready? Let’s talk!

 

 

 

To say this talk changed my life is an understatement. I had no idea what an introvert was or what they need or how to get it. I read the book QUIET and wrote a review.

 

 

I’d love to know what you are reading,  watching and listening to these days. Tell me all about it!

 

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,
Tami

PS: If you want to be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops and opportunities to work together – get on the list.